6 months old!

Brenden & Wendy Fortney. We get mail for a Wendy Fortney, and we joke that Brenden got married without telling us. The most obvious suspect is his glow-worm, who he loves to stare at reverently and kiss. (Last night he spent a few minutes licking its face.)

Opening Christmas presents from Grandma and Grandpa Cordill

"Thank you, thank you very much"

It's hard to believe Brenden is 6 months old already! Adam and I were just looking at his newborn pictures and reminiscing. The time has gone so fast. Life has become a little less weird and a lot more fun since Brenden was first born. I would give my pinky toe, maybe both pinky toes, for a whole night's sleep, but I can't wait to get home in the evenings to play with Brenden.

Brenden had his 6 month check-up today, and he was very brave for his shot. Here are his stats:

Height: 29.5" (97% percentile)

Weight: 19 lbs, 10 oz (85% percentile)

Brenden's iron level is very good, which was a relief. We were a little freaked when the doctor heard a heart murmur, but she said it's very faint and it's nothing to worry about. She said they'll continue to monitor it at regular check-ups and perform an echo if it hasn't cleared up by age 10.

After lots of deliberating, we decided to give Brenden the seasonal flu shot since we're flying next week. We're splitting up his other vaccines. We think it's important to vaccinate him, but we figured we might as well split up the vaccines between visits in case that makes any difference in preventing some of the scary side-effects people talk about. The vaccine scares may be bogus, but just in case...

The doctor also discovered that Brenden has his first tooth, and his second one is already on its way out! Teething is a likely culprit in his sleeping problems, and the doctor thinks he might also be getting up a lot at night to nurse. He's been gradually reducing the amount he takes by bottle during the day, so he might have figured out that he can wake me up at night and get to nurse more.

Brenden has been doing lots of new things lately:

• reaching for us (love it!)


• standing up while holding our hands


• running his hands through Mom's hair. He just runs his hand back and forth really gently; it's the sweetest thing.


• eating rice cereal. He didn't like it the first couple of times, but now he'd eat the whole box if we let him.


• rolling over onto his tummy. He doesn't know how to roll back to his back yet, which makes him mad.


• sucking on washcloths during bathtime. If I don't give him his own washcloth to suck on, he'll rip the washcloth I'm using to bathe him right out of my hands.


• holding on to toys when we try to take them away. He has such a strong grip, I sometimes have to use both hands to get things out of his hands.

Brenden Kitty

Usually we fret like nervous squirrels when Brenden cries. But tonight I couldn't help cracking up when Brenden started mewing like our kitty Gabby used to do when we gave her a bath. (For anyone who doesn't know, Gabby was our beloved kitty who passed away a couple of years ago.) What's really weird is I had just showed him Gabby's ornament on our Christmas tree and told him about her (for the 50th time, I'm sure!). The ornament is one I made for Gabby on her last Christmas, because I knew it would probably be her last, and now we put it at the top of our tree because she's our little angel. I'm a total cheeseball but I still miss her. I'll never forget how heartbroken we were the night we had her put to sleep. See, I'm tearing up just writing about it.

Brenden is pretty oblivious to the holidays. We were so excited to take him to the toystore to pick out his presents, but he was more interested in taste-testing the boxes. We had our first family portrait done over the weekend. The pictures turned out nice but it was NOT FUN for any of us. Brenden was scared and we were very annoyed that they kept trying to sell us more than we wanted.

I'm concerned that Brenden is scared and shy of other people. If that's his natural personality, that's fine, but I'm worried that it's because he doesn't get to interact with other people much. We take him out all the time and to see friends on occassion, but there's no one else who's a regular part of his life. Brenden has never been without one of us, and now that we're ready to get away just the two of us, there's no one he's comfortable enough with to leave him.

It would be so nice to just go have dinner together and have a little break. It's been tough lately because Brenden hasn't slept well the past 6 weeks. I'm trying to cut things out of my diet in case he has an allergy (sometimes his little tummy rumbles and he seems uncomfortable), but that only helped for a few days and now he's back to waking up every 2 hours. He slept better when he was 2 months old. I think it's partially our fault. We still rock him to sleep and have to lay him down really gently without waking him. All my friends say they just lay their babies down and they fall asleep on their own. We don't think the cry it out method is right for Brenden, but we may not have any other choice if this goes on much longer.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Brenden in his new coat and hat!

I am so excited that it's Thanksgiving tomorrow. It's the best holiday - four days off work and no stress - all we have to do is eat and be thankful. And we have a lot to be thankful for this year!

I found out yesterday that I'm anemic. I thought my fatigue was just from being a working mom, but apparently I have an iron deficiency as a result the pregnancy and Brenden's birth. I have lost A LOT of hair in the past few months. It's gradually getting better, but at its worst my hair was coming out in clumps every time I even touched my head. I had to buy a Swiffer sweeper vac to use on the bathroom floor every morning.

My hair is now so thin that I can see my scalp, and I noticed a strange mole I couldn't see before. I went to a dermatologist to have it checked out. She said the mole is normal, but my hair loss is more severe than normal postpartum hair loss. She suspected an iron deficiency, and sure enough, a blood test showed my iron level is really low. I just started iron supplements today and I really hope they give me more energy (and help my hair grow back!).

Brenden's World

My favorite place - Mommy and Daddy's bed. I'm still trying to figure out why they only let me lie there when I'm awake. So far my plan to get into their bed at night has been less than successful, but maybe if I wake up six times every night they'll get the message.

Mom thinks I'm smiling because she's smiling, but she's about to learn an important lesson about baby clothes. This white outfit has "rookie" written all over it. Meeting Aunt Laura. It was way past my bedtime and I was totally freaked out.

Swinging away in my hemorrhoid bear sleeper (Daddy makes fun of the bear for having to sit on a pillow)

I think we can be friends

Lookin' cool in my big-boy high chair

There are ears on this jacket. I hope we don't run into anyone we know.

Happy Friday the 13th!

Check out this handsome man! I know every mom thinks their baby is the most precious, but I know my guy is.

We had the best Friday the 13th, and we needed it. The past week has been absolutely brutal. Work was so busy it made me dizzy. We had a huge submittal and it was invoicing time, so I was completely bombarded. On Wednesday I cried while I was pumping during lunchtime because I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. Adam and I were beyond exhausted from getting up with Brenden at night. We think he's being woken up from pain from teething. Being so tired made it hard to deal with the pressure of working and being a mom. It's a lot of pressure to have to nurse/pump and be the only one working. I wouldn't change anything about our life (except give myself a nice raise so we wouldn't be on such a tight budget), but now and then it feels overwhelming.

I felt like I was coming down with a cold yesterday, so I brought my laptop and some work home with me so I could work from home today. I'm so glad I did. I got quite a bit done while Adam and Brenden napped and played. We all got some extra sleep and Brenden seemed really happy to have me home. We went out to the mall, bookstore, and Target this afternoon. Adam and Brenden go to the mall a lot now that it's too cold to walk outside. Every time I bent down to talk to Brenden in his stroller, he squealed in excitement, like he had forgotten I was there and was excited to see me. Too cute! Thankfully he has traded in the random screaming for random fake coughing, which is easier on the eardrums.

We bought Brenden's first solid food at Target today - rice cereal! We're going to try it on Thanksgiving and see how he likes it. There were three kinds of rice cereal and I agonized over which kind to buy. I'm torn on whether to buy organic. As I already mentioned, we're on a tight budget, but I feel like we should still buy organic if it's better. We ended up getting the regular rice cereal though because it will be easier on his stomach than the whole grain organic, plus the regular Gerber cereal is fortified with more vitamins than the organic stuff.

Running a Marathon

At the pumpkin farm a couple weekends ago - Brenden was not impressed
Brenden trying out a Bumbo chair - everyone swears they're a "must-have," but he looked so awkward we returned it. He prefers sitting on our laps, and we got our $40 back. Yes, $40 for that piece of plastic!!

Whew, this week was grueling. It was a real test of endurance. I had an insane amount to do at work, my "home" to-do list was a mile long, and then Brenden started waking up a bunch at night and went on a nursing strike. He started throwing a fit when I tried to nurse him, which really hurt my feelings. Adam took him to the doctor today and we found out he's teething. The nursing strike peaked on Tuesday and every day since has been a little better. Probably because I was calmer after talking to some friends who went through the same thing.

I had such a hectic week at work. Today we had another Navy submittal (on the same never-ending project), and all day I was race-walking around the office trying to get things together. It was so nice to come home to a crockpot full of hot beef stew and relax for the first time all week. We ate dinner while listening to the thunder and hail raining down outside. Really weird weather for Seattle - it rains all winter but almost never thunders.

Sometimes life is overwhelming, but I got a little perspective when I realized that it's been almost exactly a year since the day we had that ultrasound scare with Brenden. We now live across the street from where we did when I was pregnant, and as I was walking home from the bus stop today I vividly remembered riding in the car down the street after Adam picked me up from work that day. It was the absolute worst experience of my life - I was completely devastated. Remembering that experience makes my busy work schedule and troubles with teething seem so silly. I'm lucky to have a good job and a healthy wonderful son!

Brenden's First Halloween

Brenden had a fun first Halloween. We went to a little Halloween get-together Friday afternoon thrown by the doctor who delivered Brenden. It was cute but he was overwhelmed by the noise and the crowd. He was able to hold it together long enough for a professional Halloween photo. Unfortunately we don't have the photo yet, but as soon as we do we'll load it for everyone to admire. He was ridiculously cute, even if he wasn't wearing a costume. He had a pumpkin costume, but it was too small and he was miserable in it.



Halloween Day was a normal Saturday, except that we read Thumper's Scary Night before bed. The book isn't really scary, but Brenden woke up at 11 pm with a nightmare. He usually kicks his feet and whines when he's ready to get up and nurse, but last night he busted out with a loud scared cry. Adam and I stayed up late (until 10:30) watching Night of the Creeps, and it was actually a really fun Halloween, even without the costumes and candy. I ate just one fun-size candy bar, by far the least sugar I've ever consumed on Halloween.



Here's a late Halloween treat for you, a horror film starring Brenden. Sometimes he starts screaming for the fun of it, and the other night it lasted for hours. It's cute most of the time.

Big Step

Brenden is sleeping in his own room tonight for the first time. I felt a little sad and anxious while moving his bassinet out of our room, but so far Brenden is sleeping fine in his crib. He's too big for his bassinet and we need our own room back. Hopefully the night goes well and we can all get some rest. Brenden is turning out to be a great sleeper at night; now if we can just get him to nap somewhere other than our chests.



Today was a fun day. Brenden and I met Maria for lunch and gave Adam some time to himself at home. We had delicious Indian food, and Brenden was very smitten with Maria. He preferred sitting on my lap to hers, but only so he could grin and stare at her. Brenden is turning out to be quite the ladies man. Other than his Daddy, he's not usually impressed by men. But when a lady comes up and tells him how cute he is, he turns on the charm big time. Here's a picture of Brenden helping Maria decide what to order:



After lunch Brenden and I headed over to the Northgate shopping center to buy a few new things for the apartment. Brenden was a champ, even though it was close to his naptime and it took me FOREVER to figure out how to get into the Ross store. I knew there was a handicap accessible (and therefore stroller-accessible) entrance somewhere, but we rode the elevator three times trying to find the right floor. I found several things I was looking for at great prices, but then we had to wait in line for 15 minutes. Ross (similar to a TJ Maxx) has great deals but terrible customer service. By then Brenden was done with his stroller so I put him in his baby carrier. My back is still sore!



Our local Target has started carrying groceries, and it is so much cheaper. It's also more convenient because Adam can pick up everything we need in one trip and I don't have to make a separate trip for household items. (Yes, Adam even does the grocery shopping!)



We are trying to decide whether or not to get flu shots. Brenden will be old enough for a flu shot in December, but I think we're leaning toward not getting him vaccinated. At least we have a couple of months to see if other kids have reactions to the shots. Our pediatrician recommended that Adam and I both get seasonal flu shots at least. I think I'll get one, since I'm exposed to a lot of people at work and don't want to bring anything home to Brenden. Another thing that will help is to keep breastfeeding him and not let strangers touch him. Most people know better, but once or twice someone has tried to hold his hand!

Role Reversal

Brenden "reading" 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed tonight

Great day today! Adam and Brenden came to have lunch with me. Brenden was overwhelmed by all the adults oohing and ahhing down at him in his stroller, so he started crying. I carried him for the short walk from the office to the restaurant, and he kept stretching toward Adam like he wanted to go to him. It was 80% sweet and made me 20% jealous. Adam is a wonderful dad - absolutely the best - and Brenden has great days with him every day. I love my job (more on that later), but now and then I feel like I'm missing out with Brenden. Still, I think we're doing what's best for us and it makes me appreciate our evenings and weekends more.

Once we got to the restaurant, Brenden calmed down and we had a great lunch. I had the butternut squash soup and pear salad, the perfect lunch for a rainy fall day. Brenden got in a progressively better mood as we ate, and by the time the check came he was having a very animated conversation with the lamp next to our table. The restaurant has some crazy decor with lots of rich color and lamps everywhere, and Brenden thought it was hilarious.

Work is going great. I have been thinking about taking project management classes in preparation for earning my PMP (Project Management Professional) certification, but I was nervous to ask my boss if the company would pay for it. The company is doing relatively well, but there have been a few layoffs in other departments. I decided to go for it today and ask my boss, and he was very enthusiastic. I didn't even have to ask if the company would pay for it; I just told him I was thinking about taking the classes and he said the company would pick up the tab. I still need another year and a half of experience before I qualify to take the PMP exam, but with my boss's blessing I joined the Project Management Institute so I'll have access to classes and other resources. I'm also signing up for a couple of classes to brush up on my Excel and Microsoft Project skills. My boss talked about the importance of continuing education and gave me kudos for making my own plan to move forward. Very cool!

It's ironic that I'm reading Barbara Ehrenreich's This Land is Their Land right now. I loved her book Nickel and Dimed, about her experiment working minimum-wage jobs (and almost starving to death in the process). I went to her book signing a year ago when This Land came out, and I'm just now getting around to reading it. Unfortunately I don't like it as much. From reading it you'd think every employer in the US enjoys sucking the life out of their employees. I'm sure some people can relate to that (at least people who work for Walmart), but it annoys me that her statements are so extreme. She's the Michael Moore of print journalism. I think they both have valid points, and they're right to be upset, but the exaggeration and air of moral superiority weaken their arguments.

P.S. We found a table! We didn't have any luck at local stores, so we ordered one from Amazon. We're a bit nervous about ordering it based on a little picture on the website, but the price was right and it solved our problem of how to get it home. Hopefully we're not disappointed. In a month or so Brenden will be sitting at the table with us trying out real food for the first time!

Mommy Myths

I had a really good day at work yesterday - one of those days where I came close enough to a deadline to get the adrenaline pumping, but not so close as to break out in a cold sweat. During my now-short bus ride home, I reflected on how much better my life is right now than I thought it would be. This happens to me a lot - I hear other people talk about how hard something is, and I get scared.

When I was pregnant, I prepared myself for a really tough first year as a new mom. I expected to be overweight, stressed out, and exhausted. I was worried about the affect on our relationship and my work. You might wonder why I wanted to have a child so badly in the first place. Maybe deep down I knew it wouldn't be so bad. In fact, most parts of my life are so much better. The only casualties of being a mom are my tummy and my REM sleep. I lost all of my baby weight, but my tummy is wrinkly and my belly button still looks weird. So I bought a one-piece "mom" bathing suit - problem solved.

Sleeping is still my biggest problem, but even that could be much worse. I'm usually only up for a total of one hour at night, but after 4 months of this I often fantasize about holing up somewhere and sleeping for a day straight. Adam gets up with Brenden any time I ask, but it wouldn't be pretty if I went a whole night without nursing.

Our mission for this weekend is to find a new dining table. You wouldn't believe how few furniture stores there are in Seattle. There are some high-end stores we can't even afford to park near, and then you have the thrift stores. We're not opposed to buying something second-hand, but with Brenden and a Toyota Corolla, getting it home would be a challenge. We need to find a store with moderately-priced, mass-produced furniture that offers home delivery. There are lots of stores like that in our hometown, but the delivery fee might be a bit much.

4 Months Old!

Brenden turned 4 months old yesterday! He had a rough time at his 4 month check up. He cried as soon as we layed him down on the exam table. He probably remembered that the last time he was there, the dr pulled apart some fused skin on his pee pee (a complication from the circumcision). He cried again when the dr dug some wax out of his ear. He hates it when I wash his ears, so I think they're just sensitive.

Then he had the dreaded shots. For some reason he had a lot harder time than at 2 months. He screamed inconsolably for about 15 minutes. Then this morning he came down with a fever, the first he's ever had since he came home from the hospital. It happened on my "shift" (Adam and I trade off on weekend mornings so we can both sleep in). It was 101.3, and I wasn't sure how freaked out to be. So I talked to the after hours nurse and she said fevers are common after immunizations and to just monitor it. It's down to 100.1 and I gave Brenden some tylenol to bring it down further. He's been very sleepy and not as excited as usual, bur otherwise seems fine.

Brenden now weighs 17 lbs, 3 oz. His height and weight are that of an average 6-month old! He's hitting all of the developmental milestones. The dr says he's also developmentally ready to sleep in his own room and fall asleep on his own. We're planning to start putting him in his own room soon, but we're still torn on sleep training. I really like our pediatrician - she agreed that although "crying it out is the recommendation, it's not right for everyone. She also doesn't recommend any solids until 6 months except rice cereal, which I agree with. I've read several places that we should srart solids now, but that doesn't seem right to me. One book even had tips for propping your baby up so they can eat. That seems so silly. Brenden is developing an interest in food though. He loves to watch me eat and this morning he grabbed my glass of tea while I was drinking and tried to put it to his mouth! I thought that was the most amazing thing ever.

I'mhome with Brenden today while Adam is back at the house doing ANOTHER coat of paint. That pale blue just does not want to go away. If Brenden starts feeling better, I'll try to do some more unpacking. Then tomorrow we're headed back to Edmonds for a nice breakfast and to clean the carpets. They're perfectly clean, but the landlord asked us to do it. We already lost half the deposit because it's not rented yet, so we don't want to lose any more. It's no wonder it's not rented - it's not a nice place! When I went back to clean I kept thinking, "what were we thinking??" The apartment is so much nicer, and I'm getting used to the noise. I still want to try a few things to block the traffic noise, because it gets very loud at rush hour.

Ugh

Playdate with Paityn

Have you ever seen a more beautiful face?

Our new apartment is very nice. The noise is not. It's making me nuts. We went from a quiet little town to a huge apartment complex on a busy street. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment before, and most of our neighbors were single, quiet people. Now we have a family with a hyperactive 3 year old next door and crazy college kids above us. I understand that both are going to be loud, and they had to listen to Brenden shriek a bit this evening when he resisted being rocked to sleep. But the loss of privacy is really hard. Right now it feels like everyone around us is intruding on our home. I hope I get used to it.

Tami and Paityn came over today for a visit. I haven't seen Tami since I went back to work, and it was fun to catch up. Brenden thought Paityn was a hoot until she started shrieking because she was tired. He started doing his scared whimper.

Poor Adam spent most of the day at the old house, repainting Brenden's room back to white. He has another cold and it was a bit depressing for him to be in the empty old house all alone. He still has to go back to do another coat, and I'm headed over there tomorrow to clean.

This move has been exhausting. I hope this place feels like home eventually. We're mostly unpacked and the apartment itself is great. We have lots of space and 2 bathrooms for the first time ever. Adam gets the bathroom with the shower stall, and Brenden and I are sharing the bathroom with the tub. That might change once Brenden starts toilet training! Right now I really hope we're not still living here by the time Brenden's potty training. I wish we had enough money to buy a nice house. I know that's no guarantee of quiet, unless you're out on a farm somewhere.

There's still lots to do, and I'm headed back to work on Wednesday.

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

Tomorrow is moving day! And here I am, writing a blog instead of packing. We were so busy with errands and Brenden today, so we barely got anything done.

I'm feeling nervous now. I always look forward to moving, then freak out when it actually happens. When we moved to this house, it was so cold the first night we were here that I had a crying spell because I was worried about "the baby" being cold. Which is one of the reasons we're moving now... But this move has fewer worries: we've lived in the apartment complex before, and we're using the same movers we used last time.

We are mostly nervous about our new neighbors. We did the apartment inspection today, and the neighbors on the other side of our living room wall are a bit rambunctious. It sounded like there were 8 kids over there squealing, but we only actually saw one woman and a toddler. At first we were like, "Oh man, there's kids living over there!" And then we realized, we have a kid now! It won't be long before he's running around squealing and pissing off the neighbors.

Other than that, the apartment is very nice and spacious. Still, I'm sentimental about leaving this crappy rental house. It's the house where we lived for a good part of the pregnancy and the home we brought Brenden home too. I took him around the house this morning and told him about my memories of being pregnant with him... the time I spent staring out the front window at the beginning of my maternity leave, waiting anxiously for him to be born. And the hours I spent washing and folding his clothes perfectly while watching the squirrels play in the backyard. (Now when I do laundry I spend about 30 seconds stashing clothes in and run back out. There could be an elephant in the backyard and I'd have no idea.)

Now we're on to a new place to make lots of great memories. It will feel really weird at first, but home is where my guys are!

Soooo Tired....

With Grandma and Grandpa

At the top of the Space Needle

Whoops, he looks so innocent, but look at that left hand!

Us on a laid back Saturday

I felt like a zombie at work today. My eyeballs hurt any time I look to the side, I'm so tired. So what did I decide to do with my evening? Sleep training! It lasted all of 7 minutes. I have heard endless advice about "crying it out," so I put Brenden in his bassinet when he was drowsy. He was quiet for a couple minutes, waiting for me to come back. (Now and then I set him down in his crib so I can go do something, and he just lays there like a good boy until I'm done.) But once he realized I was taking too long, he started to fuss. It wasn't even all-out crying, but it broke my heart because I knew he was confused. I went in to comfort him (the advice is to comfort the baby but not pick them up), and he broke out into a huge grin and laughed. I felt like the biggest jerk when I told him it was night-night time and left the room. He started crying again and I couldn't take it. Yes, I know, I'll be rocking him to sleep when he's 8 at this rate. But he seems too young. I don't know when we'll feel ready to stop rocking him, but it's not now.

We are planning to work on Brenden's nap routine for sure. We are still holding him for every nap. You can imagine what our lives are like having to hold him 6 hours out of every day, not being able to get up. Adam is working on putting him down in his crib or swing during the day, but he almost always wakes up right away. I think once we're settled in the apartment we're going to nix holding him while he naps, so even if he keeps waking up when we put him down, eventually he'll be so exhausted he has no choice but to sleep on his own. In theory.

Work is going better. I survived our huge Navy submittal (barely), so finally it doesn't feel like I'm walking into a funnel cloud when I walk in the office. (I almost typed "funnel cake," zzzzzz.... who wouldn't want to walk into a funnel cake when they walk in the office??) Anyway, I still have some organizing to do to get all my projects on track, but I'm not running a marathon at the moment.

Our move is going pretty smoothly too, knock on wood. I feel like I'm inviting disaster here...there's probably something major I forgot to do. We are so excited; it's going to be so much nicer.

We had a nice weekend with my dad and stepmo

m. They flew in from Indiana to see Brenden, and he was smitten. I was a little worried he might be shy, but he hammed it up with smiles and laughs. The only downside was that Brenden's nap schedule was off so he was exhausted from his party weekend. He also treated Grandma and Grandpa to some howling in his car seat. Oh, how he hates riding in the car. I felt sad for Brenden when they left. It's hard not to have family around. We like Seattle and we want to give Brenden all of the opportunities and experiences it has to offer, but it stinks that it's at the expense of seeing his family regularly.

3 Months Old!

Brenden turned 3 months old on Wednesday! He is just a doll. He's almost 16 lbs and he's growing out of his 3-6 month clothes. I pulled some 6-9 month sleepers out of his closet, and they look about right!

We're starting to get the hang of being parents. Being a working mom doesn't feel as daunting anymore, and we make a great team. Our house is mostly clean and we have at least a few minutes every evening after Brenden goes to bed to talk about something other than how many poops Brenden did that day. There are still some rough days (see my last post), but we're managing just fine.

I want to find more opportunities for Brenden to socialize with new people. We get him out every day to see new things, but right now he's not used to being cared for by anyone else. Adam went by the store where he used this week to pick up some moving boxes. A coworker offered to hold Brenden while he loaded the boxes in the car, and when he came back Brenden's face was covered in tears. At some point we need to show him that Mommy and Daddy come back, but the thought of him missing us makes me nauseous.

Here's a cute video. We think everything he does is the most adorable thing ever!

Every Other Day

Every other day is a great day, and the ones inbetween are rough. Saturday was an awesome day. I got tons done around the house and still had plenty of time to spend with Brenden. We took a long walk down to the water, and he had a blast. He's definitely a people-watcher. Several people have commented on how attentive and focused he is.

But Sunday was a rough day. The cold I've been fighting for several days hit hard that day, and Brenden was having an "off" day too. I learned that moms don't get sick days, and I couldn't even have my beloved Nyquil since I'm nursing.

Of course Monday was another good day - things went really well at work and I got home in time to catch some more laughs from Brenden. He was in a good mood most of the evening and went to bed in time for Adam and I to hang out for a little bit.

But today? You guessed it. Rough. Usually Adam and Brenden are up while I'm getting ready in the morning, but Brenden went back to sleep after nursing at 5 AM and didn't wake up until after I left. It was nice having time to straighten my hair and not run out the door half-dressed to catch the bus. (The other day I had to stuff my belt, knee highs, and jewelry in my purse and put them on when I got on the bus. And I wasn't even embarrassed.) But then when it was time to go and I realized I wouldn't see Brenden until this evening, it felt like the first day back at work all over again. I've been fighting tears all day, and now here I am tearing up at my desk over lunch. At least I have a cold so the red eyes blend in with the red flaky nose. But now I just dripped Indian food on my white shirt...it looks suspiciously like baby poop.

I think I'm going to start coming in later to spend more time with Brenden in the mornings. He's been going to bed earlier and earlier at night, and mornings are his happiest time. I've been getting to work at 7:30 and there's rarely anyone here to acknowledge this feat. I just got my own laptop at work so I'm going to try working an hour in the evenings after Brenden goes to bed instead.

Brenden is 3 months old tomorrow! And the way it worked out, it will be exactly one year since his tiny life began. Luckily it falls on a "good" day. Oh god, I'm tearing up again...time to go focus on contracts and submittals...good thing I work in a field devoid of emotion.

A Good Week

The week started off rough, but got a lot better. My Monday meeting at the Navy base in Bremerton was awful. I was already exhausted when I got there, after lugging two laptops, a projector, several binders, my breast pump, and purse all the way over there. I had to pump on the ferry, which is quite a feat when there's nowhere to set anything and the water is choppy. It's amazing - now that I'm a mom I seem to have grown extra arms and cloned myself - there's no way I would have been able to handle as much as I do now before I had Brenden.

Anyway, two hours into the meeting my laptop crashed and the file disappeared completely, so my notes were totally gone. Then we took a short break for lunch, which meant I had to run to the bathroom and pump. Then I ran to McDonald's on the base, and ended up eating in my car because the Navy guys were staring me down. I don't know how the women on the base survive - it's incredibly intimidating. They kept trying to make eye contact with me, so I stared at the floor until my food was ready. There was only one other woman in the restaurant, and I applaud her for being able to stand it - I couldn't!

The rest of the week got progressively better. I'm finally getting things organized at work. The girl who filled in for me did a great job, but she didn't have time to keep up with my tracking spreadsheets and filing system. Being disorganized makes me nuts! I also started a "to-do" calendar for our move, which makes it so much more manageable. It doesn't seem nearly as daunting when I give myself one thing to do each day. Today I booked the movers, so that's all set!

Brenden has been a bit cranky this week, but he also had two amazing firsts - his first time sleeping through the night, and his first real laugh. Both happened on Tuesday. His laughs were the best sound in the world. He thought it was hilarious that I was pretending to snore. I was laughing and crying at the same time - just an amazing moment. Adam grabbed the video camera but Brenden had stopped by then. But I'm posting the video anyway, since he does a few cute smiles.

4 lbs to go!

I am excited to report that I only have 4 more pounds to lose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. I've lost 5 since I went back to work, which surprised me. I thought for sure I'd gain weight since I love to run out for a chocolate bar when work gets stressful.

And "stressful" it has been. It's been tough trying to catch up on what happened on projects over the past few months while keeping up with what's happening now. The next couple of weeks are going to be tough, no doubt about it. Next week I have two long meetings on the Bremerton navy base, which means leaving at the crack of dawn for the 2 hour trip there, taking notes and running a presentation for hours, then making the 2 hour trip back. PLUS I have to figure out when/where to pump and store breastmilk during that time. I went out to Bremerton on Friday to renew my access badge, and I figured I'd just pump in the bathroom on the ferry (it's an hour ferry ride from downtown Seattle). But I was HORRIFIED when I saw the bathroom stalls, so I ended up pumping at the bathroom sinks, which were somewhat cleaner. Luckily no one came in the whole time, because that would have been a little awkward.

The week after that we have a huge submittal going out, which is always a nightmare. It might sound like I don't like my job, but really I do. It's just hard right now while I'm still adjusting and things are so crazy. Sometimes I feel a hint of my old self, getting into the groove of things, and sometimes I resent being at work. The other day I thought I was going to cry if one more person stepped foot in my cubicle to ask me for something.

Things are also busy at home. We're all set to move at the end of September! It's exciting but stressful.

Brenden is growing and learning fast! He's showing interest in toys and books. He loves to smile and talk to the hanging toys on his bouncer. Just last night he realized he can touch the toys. His hand accidentally hit the hanging turtle, and after that he kept moving his hand back and forth to touch it over and over again, looking amazed the whole time. He's also fascinated by his hands. He loves to stare at them and suck on them. This morning he seemed to realize for the first time that Mommy has hands too. He grabbed my pinky finger in his fist and stared at it, then put my knuckle in his mouth. He made a face; I guess Mom's hands don't taste as good.

It's so much fun watching Brenden discover the world. He's learning and doing things right on schedule with other babies, but it seems so special. It doesn't matter that it's been done billions of times before.

A New Home for Mr. Slick

I tried a home remedy for cradle cap that I read in a book, and it did not go so well. The book said to rub petroleum jelly in Brenden's hair and then shampoo it out. It sounded simple enough. But the Vaseline was too thick to spread easily, so I ended up using a ton of it. You probably know where this is going... after 3 shampoos, his hair was still super slick, so slick you almost couldn't touch his head because it would slip right out of your hand. Poor Brenden went a whole day with greasy slicked back hair. I shampooed it another couple of times last night, and most of the Vaseline is gone, along with the flakes. So it worked eventually.

We found a great new place to live, so as long as we can get out of our lease, we're good to go. I'm holding off on getting too excited until we talk to our landlord tomorrow. I mentioned it to him on the phone this evening, and he said it's a real pain to find new renters, but he understands that the house has had problems and Brenden is our first priority. He's coming over tomorrow to talk about the lease.

The new place is actually at the apartment complex where we lived before we moved here. We really liked living there, and they have a great 2 bedroom available at the end of September. There are so many things that will be better about living there - the only drawbacks are lack of privacy and leaving the cute neighborhood we're in now. My commute would be cut in half, we'd have a bigger kitchen with actual cabinet space, a dishwasher, garbage disposal, newer appliances, more space, 2 bathrooms... and oh yeah, no roof leaks or rats. And it will stay nice and warm in the winter. We'd have moving expenses, but they're offering half off of November rent, so that would help. But I better not think about it too much in case the landlord gives us a hard time with the lease.

First Day

My first day at work was terrible. I cried so much I have a headache. Thankfully it wasn't from guilt, because I know Brenden was perfectly happy at home with Adam. It was just a huge change, which I always struggle with. I know it will be fine once I get into the swing of things. I'm going to stay at 30 hours until I feel better, or until we can't afford it!

The apartment we looked at Saturday was a bust. It was ok for the special they were running, but the rent would jump way up after a year, and we don't want to move again that soon. We're going to look at another place tomorrow, but I'm not real hopeful about it. Our landlord seems to be trying a little harder with the maintenance issues, so we'll see what happens.

On a lighter note, Brenden did the funniest thing on Sunday. When I got out of the shower Adam was holding Brenden on his lap, and Brenden had his hand resting on the tv remote. I asked him what he was watching, and when I turned to the tv I saw that it was some movie on Encore, and a girl was lying next to a lake getting some sun on her behind! Adam and I cracked up, which made Brenden break out into a huge grin. What a stinker!

Last Week of Leave

I'm headed back to work on Monday, and we had a busy last week of maternity leave. Adam is off work now too, so we took Brenden to the Seattle Aquarium. He looked interested in the pretty fish until he was exhausted by all the commotion and konked out. He can nap through anything when he's in his Snugli. It was a fun family outing, and we're looking forward to when Brenden can get excited about our trips out.

Here's another recent photo I love. Brenden does the cutest things with his little hands:

Here's one of him actually awake. We officially retired his 0-3 month clothes and discovered that he has enough 3-6 mo clothes for 3 babies. It's fun to dress him up!

Yesterday we went to Tami's house for a playdate with Paityn. This was the first time the babies seemed to notice each other at all. They had fun hitting each other (on accident of course!) Brenden had a diaper blowout while we were there, and as I carried him to Paityn's changing table, I told Tami, "Don't worry, he hasn't peed during a diaper change since he was 2 weeks old." I shouldn't have said that. While I was trying to clean up the blowout, he peed all over himself, but mostly in his eyes!! Here's a photo of him and Paityn before the mayhem:

Today we're having breakfast with my friend Julie and going to look at an apartment this afternoon. It looks perfect online - MUCH nicer with a shorter commute. We'll see what we think when we see it in person. If we love it as much as I think we will, we're going to talk to our landlord about getting out of our lease. I think it's only right. We've always paid our rent early and actually improved the house. And we just don't feel right about having Brenden in a house that's so rickety and poorly maintained. The roof leaks often, which hasn't been a problem lately since it's barely rained in 3 months, but the landlord refuses to come out and repair it until the rain stops, which can be weeks in Seattle. That's just not acceptable for our baby. And "repairing" it means his brother comes out with a bucket of tar and paints over the spot he thinks is leaking. I won't even get into the rat situation. This house is a nightmare and I'm going to freak out if he won't let us out of the lease!

2 Months Old

Cooling off in the bath

Sleeping like a frog on Daddy

Brenden is 2 months old today! He now weighs 14 lbs, 12 oz, which puts him in the 97% percentile!

We survived the heat, and it's now cooling off. It reached 104 on Wednesday, so I tried taking Brenden to the movies. Big mistake. Brenden was asleep when we got to the theatre, so I found a good seat where I could sit next to his stroller. He was still napping away as I unloaded everything we would need for the next 2 hours. I sat down, breathed a sigh of relief at being in the cool theatre, and then the previews started. The first preview must have been for a suspenseful thriller, because each ear-rattling boom was followed by nerve-wracking, foreboding music. It freaked me out a little bit, and Brenden snapped awake, eyes big as saucers. I immediately jumped up and started frantically throwing things back in the stroller. He was so terrified, I felt awful. He started crying as I raced out of the theatre.

Luckily I got a refund, but then we were stuck going back to the mall. I was sick of the place, and this time it was totally packed. We had to wait in line to use a changing table, and later in the afternoon I couldn't find anywhere to sit down to nurse. There were families everywhere, kids sprawled out on the floor playing cards. Thursday was supposed to be almost as bad, so on my way to pick Adam up from work I stopped in a Best Western to see about getting a room. The lobby was packed with people on edge from the heat. It was chaotic, and when I went to approach the desk a man jumped in front of me and said, "I was next." I think he was actually there first, but I was surprised that he jumped in front of me and Brenden. Usually people have been really friendly and helpful both when I was pregnant and when I have Brenden, but I guess he'd had enough of the heat too. Thankfully when we got up to the desk we got the very last room.

The hotel was wonderful. After Adam went to work on Thursday Brenden and I spent all day in the room with the drapes closed and the AC cranking. After such exhausting, hot days, it was great to nap all day in a place that was cool, dark, and quiet. We slept so well that I had a crazy nightmare Thursday night. My hand touched Adam's leg in the middle of the night, and for some reason I thought it was Brenden under the covers. (I am really paranoid about Brenden's face being covered.) Still half asleep, I sat up and started ripping at the covers. When I finally got my hands under the covers, I tried to lift "Brenden," but Adam's leg weighs a little more than 14 lbs, so I really started to panic. It was like one of those nightmares where your feet are like lead and you can't run from the monster. At that point Adam woke up and asked what I was doing, and I finally woke up and realized Brenden was sleeping soundly in his bassinet. Adam thought it was hilarious that I was trying to lift his leg like a baby.

We're supposed to be back in the 70's this week! Adam and I are both off this week, and then next week I'm headed back to work. The pediatrician made me feel guilty about going back to work. I feel a little guilty myself, but I'm trying to have a positive attitude about it. We're doing what works for our family, and I'm focusing on quality over quantity in terms of time I spend with Brenden. He'll have plenty of love and attention from both of us. Plus we found a bottle that he'll take from Adam, so now I don't have to worry about him going on a hunger strike.

Blazing Hot

Ugh, it's so hot here. It was literally 100 degrees today. I went to a couple of stores in search of a window air conditioner, but every store in the area is completely out of fans and AC.

Since our house was an oven, Brenden and I spent all day out. First I had an appointment with a dermatologist to get help for my acne. It really flared up during my pregnancy and hasn't gotten much better since Brenden was born. I remember when I was a pizza-faced preteen and people used to promise me it would get better in a few years. I'm 28, and I'm still waiting.

We spent about 4 hours at the mall again. It was tiring to pace up and down the mall (if I stand still too long Brenden starts kicking me like I'm his horse.) We spent some time in the Nordstrom Lounge, our new home away from home. I'll have to actually buy something there someday.

When Adam got off work we went out to eat, and Brenden was perfect all through dinner. He finally broke down from exhaustion when we tried to go to the bookstore (for some reason he can't stand bookstores or libraries). So we came home to our 90-degree house, and Brenden and I took a cool bath. I swear we sizzled when we got into the water.

It's supposed to be boiling hot for several more days. I'm already exhausted because Brenden isn't sleeping well in this heat and there's no rest for me during the day either. But after another day of this I'll be too tired to care that my beautiful dahlias I just planted are toast.

To look on the bright side, I'm thankful there are places we can go to cool off, and that we have a car with AC. Someday the rain will return, which sounds like the most amazing thing in the world right now.

Burning Up!

Whew, it's hot here in Seattle. We're having a heat wave with 90-degree temperatures, which is uncomfortable without air conditioning. For those of you who aren't Seattleites, believe it or not, most people here don't have AC.

On Friday morning Brenden and I met up with Tami and baby Paityn for a 6-mile walk around a lake. We had a great time - I have never appreciated my "girl" time so much, now that I'm outnumbered at home for the first time in my life. On Saturday afternoon I walked to downtown Edmonds for a haircut, which was fun until Adam started texting and calling me to hurry home. It was not fun to hear Brenden crying in the background, refusing to take a bottle. I felt bad for him, and I was bummed because I was hoping for a few extra minutes to check out the farmer's market and pick up some take-out at the Thai restaurant. I LOVE Thai food, but I haven't had it in weeks and I'm going through withdrawal. I need to open my own Thai restaurant with a drive-thru window for all of the desperate moms out there.

Brenden has been a little fussier the past few days, maybe because of the heat, and then he didn't sleep very well last night. I was up with him at 6 am, watching him straining to poop, and missing those weekend mornings when I would sleep in for 11 hours. I had one of my "moments" when being a mom is overwhelming. Usually I love being a mom, but now and then I get cranky and frustrated. I can't believe I used to have entire weekends to do whatever I wanted! Adam and I didn't have to schedule showers, and we could just jump in the car without packing up half the nursery!

Today we went to the mall to escape the heat, and I chatted with a brand-new mom in the Nordstrom lounge while nursing Brenden. Her baby boy was only 2 weeks old, and it was funny to feel like the experienced mom.

I'm dreading going back to work less and less. I have two weeks of leave left, and I think by then I'll be ready. It will be tough, but I'm looking forward to socializing and being able to eat a meal with two hands! There are lots of good lunch places by our office, including a great Thai restaurant. I'm trying to work it out so I can work 6-hour days for the first couple of weeks to make the transition easier. Other than the bottle-feeding issue, Brenden and his dad do great together. Sometimes when Brenden is having a meltdown because he doesn't want to sleep, Adam will take him and he'll calm right down.

Meltdown

Brenden had a major meltdown today. He was happy all morning until we went to my company picnic. It was loud, hot, and bright in the sun, so even though we only stayed a few minutes, Brenden was angry on the car ride home. Adam and I were bummed out too because the food was all gone by the time we got there, so we were both starving. Brenden cried so hard he had tears running down his beet red face, and he was inconsolable. But as soon as we got home, we got him out of his sweaty outfit and wet diaper, and after a marathon nursing session he passed out.

On a happier note, I was surprised with a big bonus. I didn't expect to get one since I'm on maternity leave. To celebrate I'm going to take an extra week off (I hadn't given my boss a firm return date yet, so I'll see if I can arrange it for August 12.) We're also going to buy a few things we need for the house. I am nervous about going back to work. It was overwhelming being around so many of my co-workers and their families just for a few minutes today. I feel a bit out of the loop, and I feel a little sick to my stomach when I think about not being with Brenden 24/7. I know he'll be fine at home with his Daddy, but I'll probably be an emotional wreck. It will be a tough adjustment, but I'm trying not to focus on that too much right now - I still have almost a month!

28 Feels Great!

Today has been the best birthday yet. I got to spend most of the day with my boys. It started out a little rough, with lots of spit-up and dirty diapers. I suspect Brenden is allergic to soy, which I've been drinking to replace the cow's milk we already know he's allergic to. He was too busy grunting and fussing to sleep this morning, so I thought we might have to cancel our lunch plans with Daddy. But he konked out right before Adam got home, and stayed asleep through most of our lunch at Red Lobster. We figured lunch was safer than dinner so there would be less noise and it wouldn't be so crowded that breastfeeding would be awkward. Here are some photos from our nice lunch:



Brenden hates his car seat, so he was a bit cranky by the time we got home. Here's a picture of the mad face he makes right before he starts fussing at us to get him out:


After lunch Adam stayed home with Brenden so I could make a quick trip to the drugstore. While I was gone they got in a nice nap in the recliner:

I just can't get over how lucky we are. Being a mom is exhausting and scary and sometimes I think I'll go crazy if I have to spend another day with frizzy air-dried hair because I can't find time to blow-dry it. But I have never felt better, flabby stomach, stretch marks, and all.

Ahhhh....

Yesterday was a great day. Brenden slept for 6 hours straight the night before, and then I went for a massage for my birthday. I even snuck into a cute consignment shop for a few minutes. Although I can fit into a lot of my old clothes, I'm planning to update my wardrobe. Everything I have is so old and a lot of it is from the juniors section. Now that I'm a mom I'm ready to dress like a grownup.

Friday was also an unexpectedly fun day. I woke up that morning with a strange rash on my left arm, so I made a drs appointment in case it turned out to be something contagious. The doctor scared me at first - as soon as I showed her my arm she told me to change into a gown so she could check me all over, and said she was going to order stat bloodwork and have another doctor look at me too. She thought it might be something scary that starts with a "p," and she said it would affect my platelet count. But long story short, they figured out that the rash, which wasn't raised and didn't itch, was actually burst capillaries from holding Brenden's big head on my arm! He cried and resisted sleep for 3 hours the night before, so I spent a lot of time holding and rocking him.

Since we were downtown at the doctor's office, I took Brenden in to my office to show him off. He slept the whole time and it was really nice to see everyone and talk to some grownups. I'm somewhat looking forward to going back to work. I would prefer to have a little bit longer with him before I go back, but I know I would go crazy if I stayed home long-term.

The bottle feeding is getting a little bit better. I think Brenden has realized that the bottle isn't going to bite him, at least.

One Month Old!

"Call me."

Brenden is one month old and already weighs 12 lbs, 8 oz! He is starting to interact with us more. Daddy got his first smile yesterday, and I got mine this morning. He does the funniest little expressions and sounds.

Our latest challenge is bottle feeding. He looks absolutely disgusted when we put the nipple is his mouth, which is followed by an ear-splitting wail. He'll take the bottle eventually, but it's a long, loud battle of wills. I hate to see him cry, but we have to get him used to it for when I go back to work.

Life is starting to feel more normal. I still have moments when I play the "how much would I pay for a night of uninterrupted sleep" game, but mostly it's all manageable. Even the other day when Brenden thought it was funny to see how many eardrums he could burst at the bookstore, I felt so lucky even though people were glaring at us. Last November I was standing in that same store, trying to pass the time on one of those excruciating days when we thought our baby might have a chromosomal defect. Maybe that experience was a blessing in disguise, so we won't forget how lucky we are.

Unpredictable

Now that I have half a clue what I'm doing, the biggest challenge for me is how unpredictable daily life is. I never know if Brenden is going to nap half the day and give me plenty of time to get things done, or if I'll be lucky to get to go to the bathroom. He was really fussy over the weekend. Adam had to call me to come home while I was at the mall, and Sunday night Brenden cried and kicked for 2 hours before falling asleep. I prepared myself for a repeat performance last night, but he fell peacefully asleep nursing at 9:00. I thought he might get unruly when he was awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night, but he just looked around all bright-eyed and content.

Poor guy is losing his hair and has baby acne. He also has ingrown toenails on his big toes. The pediatrician told me to "roll" the nails out from under the skin, but I'm not having any luck yet.

We received the hospital bill for Brenden's birth, which for my care was $30,000! My prenatal care was probably another $20,000, but our insurance paid almost everything. I am very thankful for that. If we were uninsured I would have had to do my own c-section.

I was sad to hear about Michael Jackson. Sure he was creepy, but watching his old videos on MTV brought back a lot of childhood memories.

Little Brenden is doing great! We had a fun week. On Thursday we had a "play date" with Tami and her baby Paityn. It was rough going at first because both babies were tired, and they kept taking turns fussing and waking each other up. I bought some sesame noodles to make us for lunch, which are usually really fast and easy, but with two crying babies it turned into a huge production. We then took the babies out for a walk through the park nearby, where we saw three beautiful owls in the woods.

We are pretty sure that Brenden has a milk allergy. His pediatrician suspected it, so I stopped drinking milk for a week, but I thought I'd try some milk on Wednesday to see what happened. It made him spit up a lot and he seemed fussy and had trouble sleeping. He was cranky on Thursday, but on Friday he seemed to feel better and slept most of the day. The only time he was awake was when we went out for lunch with my friend Maria. He was absolutely perfect the whole time, and he was even willing to take a bottle of breastmilk so I didn't have to try to nurse him in the middle of the restaurant. I'm a lot less worried about modesty since I gave birth, and I wish breastfeeding was more accepted. If no one else made a big deal out of it, I'd be perfectly happy to feed Brenden whenever he needed, rather than strategically timing things and worrying about covering up.

I'm so glad it's the weekend! Having time alone with Brenden has been great for building my confidence, but it's great to have Adam home with us. I'm having my first un-rushed breakfast all week, and Adam is spending "tummy time" with Brenden and cheering him on in his efforts to fill his diaper. Poor guy has trouble sometimes and it seems to take a lot of effort. Later today Adam and I are going to take turns running errands. I am headed to the mall to buy more nursing bras and tops. It may not sound exciting but having a couple of hours to myself feels like a vacation. As much as I look forward to my time out, I always miss Brenden and am so happy to see him when I get home.

He's Here and He's Wonderful!!

Finally, our little baby boy arrived on June 2, although not by his choosing. I was induced and ended up having a c-section after 24 hours of labor. I was only in horrible pain for 2 of those hours, I have to admit. I spent the next hour after that thanking whoever invented epidurals. That was the first time for months I was able to lie in bed comfortably, with no back or leg pain, and of course no pain from the contractions.) We were disappointed and scared when the dr called for a c-section, but I had only progressed to 5 cm and "Little" Guy was showing some signs of stress. I was crying and shaking before the surgery, but Adam was there to reassure me and the doctors and nurses were great. It was very freaky to go from the soft light of the labor room to the harsh lights and glaring instruments of the OR. But just 30 minutes later, we heard Brenden Connor's first cries, and his Daddy snapped his first picture (see above). It's a little gross but I love how he's clenching his fists like he's saying "Why God, why??"

And notice the double chins. He weighed in at 9 lbs, 5 oz, which was part of the reason he couldn't come out the normal way. And despite outward appearances, the dr discovered that I have a narrow pelvis on the inside.

The first week was VERY difficult. The recovery from the c-section was awful those first few days, and I was an emotional mess from hormones and the pain killers I was on. I was so upset that I couldn't even take care of myself, much less Brenden. I wouldn't have survived those first days without Adam and his mom. They kept the house running, and all I had to do was nurse Brenden. The nursing itself has been great since our first try in the recovery room, but it was overwhelming having to wake up every 45 minutes or so to nurse. No one can prepare you for the reality of being 100% responsible for another life. I've wanted kids for years and thought about it so much, but thinking about it isn't the same as experiencing the surreal mix of exhaustion and joy.

Thankfully I am feeling much better since I kicked the pain killers, and Brenden is great. From the first day everyone who interacted with him remarked on what a perfect baby he is. He only cries a little, usually when he's hungry. He's a great nurser and at 2 weeks old he was already weighing in at 10 lbs, 11 oz. He's already sleeping for longer streches of time. I actually got 8 hours of sleep the past two nights!! That was over a period of 12 hours, but even when he's awake for a 3 hour stretch in the middle of the night, he's pretty content just to nurse and dirty a half dozen diapers or so. (I am astonished at how many diapers we go through, and at how much they leak!)

He likes to be held most of the time he's awake, but he'll sit in his bouncy seat or lie down for tummy time for about 5 minutes or so, which is a godsend when I'm desperate to eat breakfast or lunch. It's amazing how hard it is to do anything, and how long it takes. Some days are better than others though, like today when he's willing to take a morning nap.

Adam is thrilled to be a Daddy, and the best moments are when we sit and laugh at Brenden's crazy noises and the faces he makes. The funniest one is when he does a big stretch and his crazy cackle, which sometimes sounds like a horse whinney. It's LOUD too - the first couple of nights we had trouble sleeping because we thought something was wrong with him. Adam's first Father's Day was a quiet one. I made a nice dinner at home because taking Brenden out for long periods of time is daunting. He isn't a big fan of his car seat. But he does like his stroller, so I've been enjoying walks around the neighborhood with him. I'm eager to get back into shape, and I'm making slow progress. I lost a good 20 lbs almost instantly, and now I have about 10-15 to go. The worst is how my tummy looks though - my belly button is stuck in limbo - half in and half out, and it's surrounded by stretch marks. Eventually they will fade and they're so worth it.

I am very thankful to have 6 more weeks home with our precious guy, and that his Daddy will be home with him after that. In the back of my mind I'm already dreading making the transition back to work, because I know it will be hard, but it's the best thing for our family and I know we'll be just fine.

Gotta go - someone's waking up from his nap!

5 Days or Less!

Little Guy is still stubbornly camped out in my belly. We have an induction scheduled for Tuesday, but hopefully he'll make his grand entrance before that. We're a little nervous about an induction because it has a higher risk of a c-section. There have been some signs that labor is fast approaching, so I'm really hoping it happens tomorrow. My dr is on call, Little Guy's Grammy will be here, and Adam is starting his 2-week paternity leave tomorrow (hint, hint, Little Guy!!)

Today is my last day of sitting at home by myself. I'm glad to have had this quiet time, and now I'm ready for the chaos to begin. Today was a pretty eventful day, actually. My friend Tami had a healthy baby girl this morning. She weighed in at 7 lbs, 5 oz, if you can believe that! She went all-natural and said it wasn't as bad as she expected. (I admire her strength but "epidural" is still prominently featured in my birth plan!)

Also, Little Guy's Grandma was in the hospital for a heart problem, but the doctors shocked her back into shape (literally) and all is well. It was a little scary but she should be fine and hopefully her doctor will allow her to fly in to meet Little Guy in a couple of weeks.

The weather continues to be just incredible, and I took a walk down to a nearby bed-and-breakfast to pick up the key to the room LG's Grammy will be staying in. The B&B is so cute, and hopefully it will be a nice get-away for Grammy while we stumble our way through our first nights with Little Guy. The walk back up to our house was slow-going and HOT (yes, it's a blistering 75 degrees here, but it's more like 95 degrees for a mammoth walking uphill.)

Time for me to get going - Grammy will be here in 2 hours and I still need to freshen up, finish laundry, and make dinner!

2 Days to Go!

Just two days until our due date! Adam and I are feeling so impatient to see our little guy. I am really uncomfortable, and it's hard to find a sleeping position that doesn't make my back or belly hurt. It seems like once I find a position that doesn't hurt me, Little Guy gets uncomfortable and starts kicking up a storm. I keep reminding myself that we probably only have a few more nights of that!

The weather has been incredible here this week - 70 degrees and sunny every day. I've spent a lot of time out walking, and today we went down to the beach near our house for a little picnic. The beach is right next to the ferry dock, and there was an interesting mix of people out. There were some anti-war protestors on one side of the street, and an old man with a "support our troops" banner on the opposite side of the street. There were a lot of families, an old flabby hippie man wearing nothing but tiny jean shorts, and several scuba divers. Here are some photos: (sorry, we didn't catch one of the hippie man)

I have my fingers crossed for Little Guy to make his grand appearance tomorrow! As anxious as I am to meet him, I've been thinking about what a great experience this pregnancy has been. It's been so much fun going through this experience together, and I am pleasantly surprised that I didn't suffer a lot of the aches and pains I expected. Most of the surprises have been wonderful, starting from that Friday morning back in September when I first saw that faint pink line. (If only I'd known how great most of my pregnancy would be back when I was lying on the couch wondering if you could die from fatigue and nausea.)

Hopefully we'll be posting pics of Little Guy very soon!

Last Day at Work

Just wanted to share a photo of the 15th Floor Pregnant Girls Club. Believe it or not, Tami (in the center) is due 4 days BEFORE me. I got to hear over and over again how huge I am compared to her. Tami's doctor has monitored her closely, and somehow she's hiding a normal-sized baby in there! Aparna is due 6 weeks after us, and her baby is doing well too.

Despite the comments, it was a blast going through the experience together. We went out to lunch every week and compared aches and pains daily. We're all having our first babies, so it was fun to share tips and the excitement of each milestone.

I desperately wished I didn't have to work during my first trimester. It was a challenge just to sit upright when I was in a fog of fatigue and nausea 24/7. But working during the rest of my pregnancy was great, especially with Tami and Aparna. Still, my last day on Friday felt like the last day of school before summer break. I haven't had this much time off work since I started working my first job after college. I'm not used to having this little to do - it's only noon on my official first day off, and I'm already wondering what's going on with some of the projects at work. I'm fighting the urge to check my work email, since I swore I wouldn't.

Later this afternoon we're off to the doctor and then meeting my friend Julie for dinner at Pike Place Market. I'm already thinking about what I'm going to eat!

In the Single Digits!

Alright, only 9 days to go until my due date! I hope he comes some time next week, but of course we have no idea when it will happen. I've been having contractions, some of them pretty painful, for almost 2 weeks. I'm so used to them that I no longer feel like I'm about to go into labor. Right now it feels like I could be pregnant forever. He is so cramped in there, and when he tries to stretch out it feels like he might pop right out of my cervix and snap one of my ribs at the same time.

Friday was my last day of work. I had a hard time deciding when to leave, but the timing worked out well with my workload and I was feeling so exhausted from the daily grind. My original plan was to work right until I went into labor, but I finally realized that I would be in bad shape if I had to give birth after a long day at the office. I am getting a lot of sleep and finishing up a few things around the house, and hopefully I won't have to use up a lot of my time off before he gets here. I still plan to take off 2 months from the day he's born, and after that Adam is staying home with him, so he'll have plenty of time with Mom and Dad.

Adam will get to celebrate his first Father's Day this year! I wonder if he'll feel like a special day out or if he'll just want some uninterrupted sleep. We've been talking about several things we'd like to get out and do this summer if Little Guy has the right temperament. We've never been big fans of the night life, so if Little Guy is laid back enough we might be able to enjoy a lot of the things we normally do.

Hopefully it's not long now! I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and see who he looks like!