God Bless the Midwest

One thing I won't miss about my current job is having to be professional and polite to customers who don't deserve it. To be honest, everyone has preconceived notions about other people based on how they look. You might not expect good manners from a kid who wears his pants down around his knees, and I'll admit I tend to assume that disheveled women I see with 8 kids piled in a rusted out car are uneducated and have some issues.

In the four months I've been at my job I've had AT LEAST four white people explain someone else's behavior by leaning over and whispering, "I'm not racist, but s/he was black." Right. One man I was talking with on the phone was very nonchalant about rear-ending a woman when she was stopped at a stoplight because, in his words, "she was black." But hey, at least that guy didn't follow-up with the comment with the "I'm not racist" part.

I heard on the radio today about a preacher in Kansas who leads protests at soldiers' funerals here in the US. He believes that those soldiers' deaths are God's punishment for the US tolerating homosexuality. WHAT??? Am I hearing all of this right???

Adam had his first day of work today, which seemed to go well. It was very strange for him to go back to work after over a year of being home with Brenden. It was hard for Brenden to be at daycare all day today. He was really excited to see me when I picked him up, but then he had several meltdowns when we got home. Adam didn't get home until an hour later, so I had my hands full trying to soothe Brenden and get dinner ready at the same time.

Brenden's sleep training has been an amazing transformation. He actually got annoyed with me tonight because I tried to rub his back after I laid him down. He grunted and moved my hand away, then whined until I left the room! Our next challenge to tackle is weaning. Yes, I still nurse my 16 month old. We're down to 2 feedings a day but I want to wean him by the time I go out of town for work. I thought about just skipping those nights and nursing again when I get back, but that will just make it harder on Adam. Better to tackle the weaning together.

I found out the travel in October will be no more than 2 nights away from home. I was in tears over it Friday night and could hardly sleep, but now I'm much more calm about it. I'm hopeful this job will be a good thing for our family. I debated whether I should try to keep my current job so I will never be away from Brenden, but realized that was selfish. He'll do great with all his family around to help while I'm away, and realistically we need this new salary. By Sunday I was feeling better and decided to stop being emotional about it. That will only make it harder for everyone, and if I'm calm about it hopefully Brenden will be too. And hey, I've fantasized about checking myself into a hotel by myself since Brenden was born - here's my chance!

Now I'm Nervous!

Brenden sporting Daddy's new work shoes

It's been a wild week preparing for our new jobs. We bought a new (used) car, which was a trying experience. We were in a big hurry and I'm not completely sold on the car we picked. Doesn't really matter because it's ours for the next 6 years regardless!

Adam starts his new job on Monday, and it looks like he'll be working most weekends and a few evenings each week until 9. On one hand it's nice that Brenden can have some short days at daycare and even some days off during the week, but it will also be a little bit chaotic having a changing schedule. It will be a challenge for me to get dinner on the table and wash dishes by myself, but I'm going to plan ahead and prepare what I can the night before after Brenden goes to bed.

My new job starts the Monday after next. I was so crushed when I first didn't get the job, and I dreaded having to stay at my current job where I have to do some telemarketing and there's not much challenge to it. But now that I'm getting nervous about the new job, I'm thinking about the things I'll miss about my current one: I always work the same hours with no overtime, and it's not stressful. I also feel comfortable there, and now I'm facing yet another change. It seems like this new company has a lot of crazy deadlines and I'll have to travel a little.

The travel part makes me sick to my stomach. It really didn't sound like there would be too much travel when I interviewed, but they're already planning a trip for the end of October. I feel like I did when I first went back to work after Brenden was born, imagining having to go a whole day without seeing him. And it sounds like it might be more than one day. I know lots of people travel or work multiple jobs or any number of things that keep them from their kids, and I don't know how they stand it.

What a difference a few days make...

Check out that bed-head!

Brenden's beloved doll stroller - he takes it with him all over the house

I am in shock. We have had the best luck over the past three days. Adam got a full-time job he's really excited about for an electronics store here in town, Brenden's ears are all better, and I just accepted a new job as well! I interviewed for the job several weeks ago and was crushed when I didn't get it. But apparently the person they hired didn't work out, so now I get a stab at it! It comes with a big pay raise and good benefits. Plus Adam will be eligible for benefits at his job too, so we'll have our pick - too funny after months of no good choices. The job sounds great - I got a really good impression of the company when I interviewed with them, and it's only 7 minutes from our house and 3 minutes from B's daycare.

And here's the icing on the cake. We have debated about sleep training since Brenden was two months old. We've always decided against it because he was too young or teething or we were going through some transition or another. We anticipated sleepless nights full of screaming and theatrics, but we bit the bullet and laid Brenden down awake in his crib tonight for the first time ever. He freaked at first, grabbing at me desperately until I finally just left the room. I checked on him twice and he calmed down and fell asleep after only 15 minutes! I can hardly believe it. I'm not totally convinced we're in the clear, but this is a good sign that better sleep is in the near future.

Brenden painting a picture at school

It's been a while since I posted a blog, mostly because we've been very busy coping with Brenden's ear infection. He's had it for nearly a month. We're on our third round of antibiotics and we've tried just about everything to clear up the fluid. He's getting better and seems to be in a lot less pain, but he's now in the habit of being held/rocked all night. So we are finally, after 15 months of debating the sleep situation, going to start sleep training. Once the dr gives us the all-clear that he's no longer sick, we'll start putting him to bed awake. The dr warned us that rocking to sleep will be a hard habit to break after this long, but we pretty much have to at this point. We are EXHAUSTED from being up all night with him. Adam and I are both tempted to take an ax to the rocking chair because we're so sick of being in it.

Adam still hasn't found a job. He's been forced to lower his standards quite a bit, and has two interviews coming up for jobs he's not excited about. He might even end up working part-time for now just to have something. It's hard to be facing down money struggles after being pretty comfortable in Seattle. The worst part is having high-deductible health insurance, which is all we can afford but would pretty much bankrupt us if we had to ever use. Until we get on our feet, we applied for a state program to help with Brenden's medical costs. Brenden's dr warned us that he might have to have tubes in his ears soon, which requires general anestethia and is very expensive without insurance.

This might not be what we had in mind for ourselves, but we're making it work. Life in the midwest is a lot less expensive, and we're finding other ways to cut costs. We shop at a great grocery store that only sells their own generic brands. The food is really good, often better than name brands, and so much cheaper. We're also benefitting from hand-me-downs for Brenden, dinners over at our family's houses, and shopping yard sales, which practically a sport in the midwest. I spent $18 at a rummage sale today and came home with a trunk full of stuff for Brenden:

-7 long-sleeve shirts for fall

-jacket

-snowsuit (can't wait to use that!)

-big riding toy shaped like a car with a handle we can push

-Elmo doll that laughs, talks, does flips

-doll stroller (totally girly but B fell in love with it)

It's starting to feel like fall here, which we're really excited about. Spending summer with family has been great, but I bet fall/winter will be even better with the holidays and family meals (to be followed up by a new exercise regimen in January!).

So even though things have been rough, we're sticking it out and looking on the bright side of things. Eventually we'll get to where we're financially secure again, but in the meantime we have the things you can't put a pricetag on, like a home that truly feels like home (ok, that does have a price tag), a joyful little boy, and our families.