Yay!

I am employed again! I accepted a position with American Family today. It's not my dream salary, but it's liveable. Adam is still looking for a job and we'll have to figure out how to coordinate childcare. In the meantime we will start the process to close on our house next week. It's been very stressful, but at least one of the variables (my job situation) has been decided.

I start next Thursday, so we have a busy time ahead of us. We will be busy with family get-togethers this weekend, we're meeting with the lender on Tuesday, and Brenden's first birthday is Wednesday! We're taking him to the zoo, which will be exciting.

I'll have to go through the back-to-work transition again after being home with Brenden. I keep reminding myself that I spent more quality time with him while I was working because I was so focused on him when I was home.

In Limbo

Good news - American Family is going to make me an offer tomorrow! Not so good news - the pay here stinks! The pay range for the position was less than what I requested on my application, so the agent is going to crunch some numbers and said she'd be back with me tomorrow.

The pay range is exactly half what I used to make (not counting my awesome bonuses), and they offer NO benefits. I feel a little remorse for leaving my job. But I regret it a lot less when I see Brenden having fun with our families and enjoying our house. Now we just have to pray we can afford it!

We are walking a financial tightrope right now. Closing on this house will pretty much wipe out the savings we worked SO HARD to build up. We scrimped and saved from a year before Brenden was born so that Adam could stay home with him. Our savings stayed intact because I received a great raise a few months before he was born. I have to tell myself it was meant to be that we would use that money to buy our first home.

My Baby is Almost 1!

I can't believe it - I filled out invitations for Brenden's first birthday party last night! It just hit me that we've almost made it through his first year already. I don't really feel sad at the time past because being a mom has been easier and more fun as time passes. I will always treasure memories of Brenden as a newborn, but I think the toddler stage is going to be more enjoyable for all of us.

This first year has been the most wonderful and grueling year of my life. From the awe of Brenden's birth to the difficult recovery... from the joy of seeing his smile and hearing his laugh for the first time to the excrutiating sleepless nights.

I think the hardest thing about being a mom right now is having so little time for myself. I feel bad about it, but I miss all the time I used to have to sleep and read. Most times I think I might have some time to myself, I end up cleaning or running errands instead. I see other moms who seem to take it all in stride and it makes me feel selfish for craving time to myself. But I know they probably wouldn't object if we were all given an extra hour every day where the rest of the world paused and we weren't allowed to do anything but relax.

But speaking of time to myself, I AM actually taking time for myself today to go to the bookstore by myself. I'm going to get a soy decaf coffee drink (in deference to Brenden's sensitivity to caffeine and dairy, two of my loves) and spend some time reading and preparing for my interview. That's right, I have an interview tomorrow with American Family Insurance! It's for an office support position and it sounds like a great opportunity. I called the agent on Thursday to follow up on my resume, and I ended up talking myself into an interview! My initial impression of the agent and the job is very good, so I hope it works out. And my commute would be 10 minutes, which is unbelievable after commuting up to an hour in Seattle.

I am looking forward to working again, but I need to work on weaning Brenden. He is doing pretty well with a sippy cup and he seems to like the taste of soy milk. We need to make sure he doesn't have an allergy to it like he does with dairy. I will probably still nurse him at night for a while. I am so grateful to have been able to nurse Brenden, but I'm looking forward to not having to worry about timing feedings.

We are also looking at some daycares for Brenden next week. We don't know if we'll actually need one, but we want to take the time to check them out in advance. It all depends on what my salary ends up being and how much Adam needs to work. I actually prefer to take Brenden to daycare at least part time. He loves playing with other kids and I think it would be good for him. Ideally Adam would work part-time, mostly during the day, and we would find a great daycare for Brenden while Adam is at work. We'll see how this all works out!

Settling In

Life has been pretty busy this past week with unpacking, shopping for furniture, job hunting, and trying to get our house set up. I'm nervous about actually owning/maintaining a home. There are so many things to think about that we never worried about while renting. But it's also exciting to know we'll be here for a while and we can make improvements as we have time/money.

Brenden is doing pretty well. I think some of his fussiness has been him just asking for attention. We've been so busy...you'd think with both of us not working it would be easy, but it's like conducting an orchestra trying to get settled in while taking care of the daily things. While I was working I spent every minute I was home and Brenden was awake playing with him. I'm sure he wonders why I'm suddenly doing other things instead of paying attention to him. I think I've actually spent less quality time with him even though we're together every day. I'm going to make time tomorrow to take him out to do something fun. He loves the kids room at the library. They have a big pirate ship thing kids can climb and lots of things he can crawl around and explore.

Adam and I had our first date night last night in 4 months! It was really nice to go out to dinner and focus on each other instead of juggling Brenden's gear and entertaining him. It reminded me of the old days! But still, I was excited to see him when we picked him up from his Aunt Allison's. Luckily he had a great time with her and didn't seem to miss us much!

This past week hasn't been too promising job search-wise. My interview on Thursday was more of a preliminary thing and I don't know yet if that will lead to anything. I sent in some resumes, and I also called to follow up on some resumes I submitted. The HR manager at my last job recommended I do that. It's probably a good idea, since the places I called said they were still sorting through tons of resumes. I have a feeling this next week is going to be more promising. We'll see!

We Made It!

Whew! The past two weeks have been exhausting! All in all our move went very well. There were no major hang-ups and our furniture and car arrived in one piece. The most difficult part has been Brenden's adjustment. He caught my cold and all three of us had some sleepness nights right before the move. Then he had a really hard time on the flight. He was very anxious from the chaos of seeing his home packed up, spending the night in a hotel, then being forced to sit still for 4 hours straight. He literally climbed the walls of the plane and whined/cried for 2 hours before he finally passed out.

Brenden is alternating between anxiety and elation at our new home. It's a tough adjustment - his routine has been totally blown out of the water and we didn't have very much social interaction in Seattle. Suddenly we're in this new house and we're always on the go, out visiting with family. Brenden absolutely loves everyone and he loves their pets even more. It is so funny to see him showing off to get the family laughing, and so sweet to see him showered with hugs and kisses. The other night when we were leaving our nephew's baseball game, I looked down and saw five different hands patting Brenden's back and everyone was leaning in to give him kisses.

The adjustment part is tough going though, especially today. Our furniture FINALLY arrived, and it was chaotic with all the boxes arriving and getting cable hooked up. Brenden's nap schedule was totally off and he spent a good part of the day screaming in frustration. He went from gasping with joy at the sight of his toybox to screaming and smacking at me for not letting him "help" the cable guy. Brenden is usually so mild mannered, so Adam and I are feeling a bit worn down at the moment. We are looking forward to our first date night in five months, which will hopefully happen this weekend.

I am feeling great about our decision to move back here. Sure, there are things we'll have to re-adjust to, like seeing hillbillies flying confederate flags out the back of their truck windows. And I miss Seattle quite a bit. Last night there was a scene on TV set outside on a drizzly day, and I felt this pang I didn't expect, since I didn't even like the non-stop drizzle in Seattle. But I love being this close to our families and we also love our new house. It is an amazing house for us just starting out. I already have a mental list of things I'd like to do down the line, but the house is in great shape and there's nothing we actually have to do to it right now. The house gets lots of light and Brenden loves to look out the windows and spend time outside. We also have great neighbors. The people on either side of us and across the street have all taken the time to welcome us to the neighborhood.

Now that we finally have internet service I need to step up my job search. Besides the one interview I have this Thursday, I haven't had any additional responses to my resume. It makes me nervous because I've had a lot more activity in my previous job searches, but I have no doubt that it will all work out. It always does!