Ugh

Playdate with Paityn

Have you ever seen a more beautiful face?

Our new apartment is very nice. The noise is not. It's making me nuts. We went from a quiet little town to a huge apartment complex on a busy street. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment before, and most of our neighbors were single, quiet people. Now we have a family with a hyperactive 3 year old next door and crazy college kids above us. I understand that both are going to be loud, and they had to listen to Brenden shriek a bit this evening when he resisted being rocked to sleep. But the loss of privacy is really hard. Right now it feels like everyone around us is intruding on our home. I hope I get used to it.

Tami and Paityn came over today for a visit. I haven't seen Tami since I went back to work, and it was fun to catch up. Brenden thought Paityn was a hoot until she started shrieking because she was tired. He started doing his scared whimper.

Poor Adam spent most of the day at the old house, repainting Brenden's room back to white. He has another cold and it was a bit depressing for him to be in the empty old house all alone. He still has to go back to do another coat, and I'm headed over there tomorrow to clean.

This move has been exhausting. I hope this place feels like home eventually. We're mostly unpacked and the apartment itself is great. We have lots of space and 2 bathrooms for the first time ever. Adam gets the bathroom with the shower stall, and Brenden and I are sharing the bathroom with the tub. That might change once Brenden starts toilet training! Right now I really hope we're not still living here by the time Brenden's potty training. I wish we had enough money to buy a nice house. I know that's no guarantee of quiet, unless you're out on a farm somewhere.

There's still lots to do, and I'm headed back to work on Wednesday.

Tomorrow's the Big Day!

Tomorrow is moving day! And here I am, writing a blog instead of packing. We were so busy with errands and Brenden today, so we barely got anything done.

I'm feeling nervous now. I always look forward to moving, then freak out when it actually happens. When we moved to this house, it was so cold the first night we were here that I had a crying spell because I was worried about "the baby" being cold. Which is one of the reasons we're moving now... But this move has fewer worries: we've lived in the apartment complex before, and we're using the same movers we used last time.

We are mostly nervous about our new neighbors. We did the apartment inspection today, and the neighbors on the other side of our living room wall are a bit rambunctious. It sounded like there were 8 kids over there squealing, but we only actually saw one woman and a toddler. At first we were like, "Oh man, there's kids living over there!" And then we realized, we have a kid now! It won't be long before he's running around squealing and pissing off the neighbors.

Other than that, the apartment is very nice and spacious. Still, I'm sentimental about leaving this crappy rental house. It's the house where we lived for a good part of the pregnancy and the home we brought Brenden home too. I took him around the house this morning and told him about my memories of being pregnant with him... the time I spent staring out the front window at the beginning of my maternity leave, waiting anxiously for him to be born. And the hours I spent washing and folding his clothes perfectly while watching the squirrels play in the backyard. (Now when I do laundry I spend about 30 seconds stashing clothes in and run back out. There could be an elephant in the backyard and I'd have no idea.)

Now we're on to a new place to make lots of great memories. It will feel really weird at first, but home is where my guys are!

Soooo Tired....

With Grandma and Grandpa

At the top of the Space Needle

Whoops, he looks so innocent, but look at that left hand!

Us on a laid back Saturday

I felt like a zombie at work today. My eyeballs hurt any time I look to the side, I'm so tired. So what did I decide to do with my evening? Sleep training! It lasted all of 7 minutes. I have heard endless advice about "crying it out," so I put Brenden in his bassinet when he was drowsy. He was quiet for a couple minutes, waiting for me to come back. (Now and then I set him down in his crib so I can go do something, and he just lays there like a good boy until I'm done.) But once he realized I was taking too long, he started to fuss. It wasn't even all-out crying, but it broke my heart because I knew he was confused. I went in to comfort him (the advice is to comfort the baby but not pick them up), and he broke out into a huge grin and laughed. I felt like the biggest jerk when I told him it was night-night time and left the room. He started crying again and I couldn't take it. Yes, I know, I'll be rocking him to sleep when he's 8 at this rate. But he seems too young. I don't know when we'll feel ready to stop rocking him, but it's not now.

We are planning to work on Brenden's nap routine for sure. We are still holding him for every nap. You can imagine what our lives are like having to hold him 6 hours out of every day, not being able to get up. Adam is working on putting him down in his crib or swing during the day, but he almost always wakes up right away. I think once we're settled in the apartment we're going to nix holding him while he naps, so even if he keeps waking up when we put him down, eventually he'll be so exhausted he has no choice but to sleep on his own. In theory.

Work is going better. I survived our huge Navy submittal (barely), so finally it doesn't feel like I'm walking into a funnel cloud when I walk in the office. (I almost typed "funnel cake," zzzzzz.... who wouldn't want to walk into a funnel cake when they walk in the office??) Anyway, I still have some organizing to do to get all my projects on track, but I'm not running a marathon at the moment.

Our move is going pretty smoothly too, knock on wood. I feel like I'm inviting disaster here...there's probably something major I forgot to do. We are so excited; it's going to be so much nicer.

We had a nice weekend with my dad and stepmo

m. They flew in from Indiana to see Brenden, and he was smitten. I was a little worried he might be shy, but he hammed it up with smiles and laughs. The only downside was that Brenden's nap schedule was off so he was exhausted from his party weekend. He also treated Grandma and Grandpa to some howling in his car seat. Oh, how he hates riding in the car. I felt sad for Brenden when they left. It's hard not to have family around. We like Seattle and we want to give Brenden all of the opportunities and experiences it has to offer, but it stinks that it's at the expense of seeing his family regularly.

3 Months Old!

Brenden turned 3 months old on Wednesday! He is just a doll. He's almost 16 lbs and he's growing out of his 3-6 month clothes. I pulled some 6-9 month sleepers out of his closet, and they look about right!

We're starting to get the hang of being parents. Being a working mom doesn't feel as daunting anymore, and we make a great team. Our house is mostly clean and we have at least a few minutes every evening after Brenden goes to bed to talk about something other than how many poops Brenden did that day. There are still some rough days (see my last post), but we're managing just fine.

I want to find more opportunities for Brenden to socialize with new people. We get him out every day to see new things, but right now he's not used to being cared for by anyone else. Adam went by the store where he used this week to pick up some moving boxes. A coworker offered to hold Brenden while he loaded the boxes in the car, and when he came back Brenden's face was covered in tears. At some point we need to show him that Mommy and Daddy come back, but the thought of him missing us makes me nauseous.

Here's a cute video. We think everything he does is the most adorable thing ever!

Every Other Day

Every other day is a great day, and the ones inbetween are rough. Saturday was an awesome day. I got tons done around the house and still had plenty of time to spend with Brenden. We took a long walk down to the water, and he had a blast. He's definitely a people-watcher. Several people have commented on how attentive and focused he is.

But Sunday was a rough day. The cold I've been fighting for several days hit hard that day, and Brenden was having an "off" day too. I learned that moms don't get sick days, and I couldn't even have my beloved Nyquil since I'm nursing.

Of course Monday was another good day - things went really well at work and I got home in time to catch some more laughs from Brenden. He was in a good mood most of the evening and went to bed in time for Adam and I to hang out for a little bit.

But today? You guessed it. Rough. Usually Adam and Brenden are up while I'm getting ready in the morning, but Brenden went back to sleep after nursing at 5 AM and didn't wake up until after I left. It was nice having time to straighten my hair and not run out the door half-dressed to catch the bus. (The other day I had to stuff my belt, knee highs, and jewelry in my purse and put them on when I got on the bus. And I wasn't even embarrassed.) But then when it was time to go and I realized I wouldn't see Brenden until this evening, it felt like the first day back at work all over again. I've been fighting tears all day, and now here I am tearing up at my desk over lunch. At least I have a cold so the red eyes blend in with the red flaky nose. But now I just dripped Indian food on my white shirt...it looks suspiciously like baby poop.

I think I'm going to start coming in later to spend more time with Brenden in the mornings. He's been going to bed earlier and earlier at night, and mornings are his happiest time. I've been getting to work at 7:30 and there's rarely anyone here to acknowledge this feat. I just got my own laptop at work so I'm going to try working an hour in the evenings after Brenden goes to bed instead.

Brenden is 3 months old tomorrow! And the way it worked out, it will be exactly one year since his tiny life began. Luckily it falls on a "good" day. Oh god, I'm tearing up again...time to go focus on contracts and submittals...good thing I work in a field devoid of emotion.