Company BBQ

I beat that kid in the end!

My new company had a company BBQ last Friday night, and we had a fun (and freezing cold!) time. Brenden enjoyed the bouncy house and I made it up the climbing wall. That's something I've always wanted to try. It was harder than I thought - by the time I made it back down my arms were shaking from exertion and nerves (I haven't been with the company long enough to make a fool of myself).

So far things are going really well at my new job. I hear snippits of complaints and politics from other people, which makes me nervous at times, but my experience has been overwhelmingly positive so far. My manager is a very nice man and the team I'm working with is great. I'm taking note of the things I hear for future reference, but I have to remind myself that everyone's experience is different for a multitude of reasons. I heard an earful of bad things when I started at my firm in Seattle, but my experience was better than I even hoped for.

Now that we're settled in some sort of normal and Brenden is sleeping through the night, I'm finding time for myself for the first time in a long time! I didn't realize how drained I was until I started to recover once B was sleep trained. Pregnancy and raising an infant and supporting our family wore me out to my core.

I've just started walking over lunch, and it feels great. I work 2 blocks from the riverfront - it's not Puget Sound but it's still pretty and quaint. Downtown Evansville is surprisingly cute. There are several local restaurants I plan to try, and there's even a little local pharmacy with a cafeteria that reminds me of old pharmacies I used to see as a kid. (back in the day!)

Of course the instant I start gaining my strength back, people start talking about the second child! When i picked B up from daycare yesterday the teacher told me he had been playing with a baby doll and people say that means he wants a little brother or sister. Ha! If we have another child it will be years out. And that's a big "if." I don't think we'll be horrible parents if B is an only child. I admire parents who can handle a bunch of kids, but it's not for me. I need this time I'm finally getting to myself so I can be a good parent to the one I already have!

Superman

Halloween was a blast! It was a perfect sunny fall day. I enjoyed getting lots of yard work done. I discovered cleaning gutters is a lot more fun when you ditch the ladder and just crawl around on the roof.



Brenden had fun trick or treating. He didn't understand why we kept knocking on people's doors but not going in, but he seemed to think it was pretty cool seeing all the kids in costume. When we got home we had several trick or treaters ourselves, which was really fun. We've always lived in an apartment so that was our first experience getting to give out candy. Isn't it crazy that you can go knock on a random stranger's door and they'll give you candy??



Brenden was bouncing off the walls right up to bedtime. After he finally feel asleep we watched a new zombie show called the Walking Dead, which was fun for Halloween.



Overall it was the best Halloween I've had since I was a kid.

Back Already!

Brenden LOVES his Pooh Bear hat

I'm back from my business trip to Indianapolis, and everything went really well. It's funny that I was in tears over it a month ago, because it was not a big deal at all. Brenden had a fun time with his Grammy and Aunt Allie until Adam got off work on Thursday, and they did just fine that night on their own. I anticipated a dramatic reunion, but when I walked in the door last night Brenden only had eyes for the bag of Long John Silvers I was carrying.

I enjoyed the trip to Indy. It was really helpful for me in my new job, and it was nice to get away briefly. I took myself out for a nice steak dinner, then took a steaming hot bath in my nice hotel room. After that I ate a piece of chocolate cake a la mode in bed while watching HGTV. The quiet was nice just for one night, but I was really ready to get home yesterday.

It is really good to know that it's ok if I have to be away. I read a good article in Oprah magazine right before I left. It was an interview with Julie Bowen from the TV show Modern Family. On the show she plays a stay at home mom who keeps a perfect house, but the article was about the reality of having to travel and be less than a perfect mom to her 3 boys. She talked about the importance of making time for yourself and focusing on being a good mom instead of a great one.

If someone asked me if I thought I was a good mom I would say yes without hesitation. But a great one? Hmmm... Some nights we have chicken nuggets and fries for dinner, and I can't seem to keep up with the mess of toys that get strewn all over the house. I also have to admit that I've let Brenden walk around the yard without shoes on, and I'll turn on cartoons to keep him company while I do dishes. GASP!!! And here's the kicker - even though I really should do some cleaning and yard work and unpacking while Brenden's taking his nap, I've just written a blog and now I'm going to lie down on the couch and take a nap. Hopefully child welfare services won't knock on the door and wake me up.

Brenden and Ian doing their homework

Not to worry, Brenden is just pretending in that picture. He is NOT one of those poor babies forced to watch those Your Baby Can Read videos all day. Those commercials are creepy, if you ask me. Driving your kids too hard starts really early these days.

Things are going well. I have been at my new job for 2 1/2 weeks. I'm still figuring things out but so far I like it. I have my own nice office and the commute is so short I can come home for lunch. One thing that's a bit rough is working at the jobsite. I stay in the construction trailer doing paperwork, but I was shocked to discover there's no bathroom! We have to use a porta potty used by mostly men. Yes, it's just as disgusting as you might imagine. After my first day at the site I learned that my morning cup of coffee is not worth it. I only have to go to the jobsite one or two mornings a week, so it's not too bad. It's over an hour away, and at first I was bummed about the drive, but now I like it. A whole hour to myself!

Adam's schedule at his new job is a bit difficult. He works a lot of evenings and weekends, and I have a hard time managing dinner and dishes and bathtime on my own. Brenden is usually really fussy in the evenings. He wants to be held the whole time, which is impossible of course. He's had several major meltdowns complete with ear-splitting screams and theatrical beating of his head against the floor.

But weekends are great. It's still hard but Brenden is in a much better mood when we spend the whole day together. Last weekend he napped an hour in his crib and an hour on the couch with me. It was so nice to just lie down and watch a movie and fall asleep!

Overall I feel more settled than I have in a year. It was about this time last year that I started feeling like Seattle wasn't working for us, and since then we've been through a lot of upheaval. I cannot believe how much work this move has been. Planning, packing, moving, job hunting, buying a house, buying a car, finding a daycare, and a mountain of other things to be taken care of. Now that Brenden has been sleeping well for about a month, I have FINALLY caught up and don't feel like I'm drowning. Now we get to think about fun stuff like decorating the house. We have a huge finished basement that we hardly use, so in the next couple of weeks we're going to set up a den/play area for Brenden during the winter months.

We have some other minor things to update. Thank goodness this house is in awesome shape because we're hopeless when it comes to home maintenance. Our ice maker just stopped working and I have no idea how to fix it. I guess I'll start by googling it...

God Bless the Midwest

One thing I won't miss about my current job is having to be professional and polite to customers who don't deserve it. To be honest, everyone has preconceived notions about other people based on how they look. You might not expect good manners from a kid who wears his pants down around his knees, and I'll admit I tend to assume that disheveled women I see with 8 kids piled in a rusted out car are uneducated and have some issues.

In the four months I've been at my job I've had AT LEAST four white people explain someone else's behavior by leaning over and whispering, "I'm not racist, but s/he was black." Right. One man I was talking with on the phone was very nonchalant about rear-ending a woman when she was stopped at a stoplight because, in his words, "she was black." But hey, at least that guy didn't follow-up with the comment with the "I'm not racist" part.

I heard on the radio today about a preacher in Kansas who leads protests at soldiers' funerals here in the US. He believes that those soldiers' deaths are God's punishment for the US tolerating homosexuality. WHAT??? Am I hearing all of this right???

Adam had his first day of work today, which seemed to go well. It was very strange for him to go back to work after over a year of being home with Brenden. It was hard for Brenden to be at daycare all day today. He was really excited to see me when I picked him up, but then he had several meltdowns when we got home. Adam didn't get home until an hour later, so I had my hands full trying to soothe Brenden and get dinner ready at the same time.

Brenden's sleep training has been an amazing transformation. He actually got annoyed with me tonight because I tried to rub his back after I laid him down. He grunted and moved my hand away, then whined until I left the room! Our next challenge to tackle is weaning. Yes, I still nurse my 16 month old. We're down to 2 feedings a day but I want to wean him by the time I go out of town for work. I thought about just skipping those nights and nursing again when I get back, but that will just make it harder on Adam. Better to tackle the weaning together.

I found out the travel in October will be no more than 2 nights away from home. I was in tears over it Friday night and could hardly sleep, but now I'm much more calm about it. I'm hopeful this job will be a good thing for our family. I debated whether I should try to keep my current job so I will never be away from Brenden, but realized that was selfish. He'll do great with all his family around to help while I'm away, and realistically we need this new salary. By Sunday I was feeling better and decided to stop being emotional about it. That will only make it harder for everyone, and if I'm calm about it hopefully Brenden will be too. And hey, I've fantasized about checking myself into a hotel by myself since Brenden was born - here's my chance!

Now I'm Nervous!

Brenden sporting Daddy's new work shoes

It's been a wild week preparing for our new jobs. We bought a new (used) car, which was a trying experience. We were in a big hurry and I'm not completely sold on the car we picked. Doesn't really matter because it's ours for the next 6 years regardless!

Adam starts his new job on Monday, and it looks like he'll be working most weekends and a few evenings each week until 9. On one hand it's nice that Brenden can have some short days at daycare and even some days off during the week, but it will also be a little bit chaotic having a changing schedule. It will be a challenge for me to get dinner on the table and wash dishes by myself, but I'm going to plan ahead and prepare what I can the night before after Brenden goes to bed.

My new job starts the Monday after next. I was so crushed when I first didn't get the job, and I dreaded having to stay at my current job where I have to do some telemarketing and there's not much challenge to it. But now that I'm getting nervous about the new job, I'm thinking about the things I'll miss about my current one: I always work the same hours with no overtime, and it's not stressful. I also feel comfortable there, and now I'm facing yet another change. It seems like this new company has a lot of crazy deadlines and I'll have to travel a little.

The travel part makes me sick to my stomach. It really didn't sound like there would be too much travel when I interviewed, but they're already planning a trip for the end of October. I feel like I did when I first went back to work after Brenden was born, imagining having to go a whole day without seeing him. And it sounds like it might be more than one day. I know lots of people travel or work multiple jobs or any number of things that keep them from their kids, and I don't know how they stand it.