Now I'm Nervous!

Brenden sporting Daddy's new work shoes

It's been a wild week preparing for our new jobs. We bought a new (used) car, which was a trying experience. We were in a big hurry and I'm not completely sold on the car we picked. Doesn't really matter because it's ours for the next 6 years regardless!

Adam starts his new job on Monday, and it looks like he'll be working most weekends and a few evenings each week until 9. On one hand it's nice that Brenden can have some short days at daycare and even some days off during the week, but it will also be a little bit chaotic having a changing schedule. It will be a challenge for me to get dinner on the table and wash dishes by myself, but I'm going to plan ahead and prepare what I can the night before after Brenden goes to bed.

My new job starts the Monday after next. I was so crushed when I first didn't get the job, and I dreaded having to stay at my current job where I have to do some telemarketing and there's not much challenge to it. But now that I'm getting nervous about the new job, I'm thinking about the things I'll miss about my current one: I always work the same hours with no overtime, and it's not stressful. I also feel comfortable there, and now I'm facing yet another change. It seems like this new company has a lot of crazy deadlines and I'll have to travel a little.

The travel part makes me sick to my stomach. It really didn't sound like there would be too much travel when I interviewed, but they're already planning a trip for the end of October. I feel like I did when I first went back to work after Brenden was born, imagining having to go a whole day without seeing him. And it sounds like it might be more than one day. I know lots of people travel or work multiple jobs or any number of things that keep them from their kids, and I don't know how they stand it.

What a difference a few days make...

Check out that bed-head!

Brenden's beloved doll stroller - he takes it with him all over the house

I am in shock. We have had the best luck over the past three days. Adam got a full-time job he's really excited about for an electronics store here in town, Brenden's ears are all better, and I just accepted a new job as well! I interviewed for the job several weeks ago and was crushed when I didn't get it. But apparently the person they hired didn't work out, so now I get a stab at it! It comes with a big pay raise and good benefits. Plus Adam will be eligible for benefits at his job too, so we'll have our pick - too funny after months of no good choices. The job sounds great - I got a really good impression of the company when I interviewed with them, and it's only 7 minutes from our house and 3 minutes from B's daycare.

And here's the icing on the cake. We have debated about sleep training since Brenden was two months old. We've always decided against it because he was too young or teething or we were going through some transition or another. We anticipated sleepless nights full of screaming and theatrics, but we bit the bullet and laid Brenden down awake in his crib tonight for the first time ever. He freaked at first, grabbing at me desperately until I finally just left the room. I checked on him twice and he calmed down and fell asleep after only 15 minutes! I can hardly believe it. I'm not totally convinced we're in the clear, but this is a good sign that better sleep is in the near future.

Brenden painting a picture at school

It's been a while since I posted a blog, mostly because we've been very busy coping with Brenden's ear infection. He's had it for nearly a month. We're on our third round of antibiotics and we've tried just about everything to clear up the fluid. He's getting better and seems to be in a lot less pain, but he's now in the habit of being held/rocked all night. So we are finally, after 15 months of debating the sleep situation, going to start sleep training. Once the dr gives us the all-clear that he's no longer sick, we'll start putting him to bed awake. The dr warned us that rocking to sleep will be a hard habit to break after this long, but we pretty much have to at this point. We are EXHAUSTED from being up all night with him. Adam and I are both tempted to take an ax to the rocking chair because we're so sick of being in it.

Adam still hasn't found a job. He's been forced to lower his standards quite a bit, and has two interviews coming up for jobs he's not excited about. He might even end up working part-time for now just to have something. It's hard to be facing down money struggles after being pretty comfortable in Seattle. The worst part is having high-deductible health insurance, which is all we can afford but would pretty much bankrupt us if we had to ever use. Until we get on our feet, we applied for a state program to help with Brenden's medical costs. Brenden's dr warned us that he might have to have tubes in his ears soon, which requires general anestethia and is very expensive without insurance.

This might not be what we had in mind for ourselves, but we're making it work. Life in the midwest is a lot less expensive, and we're finding other ways to cut costs. We shop at a great grocery store that only sells their own generic brands. The food is really good, often better than name brands, and so much cheaper. We're also benefitting from hand-me-downs for Brenden, dinners over at our family's houses, and shopping yard sales, which practically a sport in the midwest. I spent $18 at a rummage sale today and came home with a trunk full of stuff for Brenden:

-7 long-sleeve shirts for fall

-jacket

-snowsuit (can't wait to use that!)

-big riding toy shaped like a car with a handle we can push

-Elmo doll that laughs, talks, does flips

-doll stroller (totally girly but B fell in love with it)

It's starting to feel like fall here, which we're really excited about. Spending summer with family has been great, but I bet fall/winter will be even better with the holidays and family meals (to be followed up by a new exercise regimen in January!).

So even though things have been rough, we're sticking it out and looking on the bright side of things. Eventually we'll get to where we're financially secure again, but in the meantime we have the things you can't put a pricetag on, like a home that truly feels like home (ok, that does have a price tag), a joyful little boy, and our families.

Geez, Negative Nancy!

I'm feeling much better now. I realize that I have very little control over the job situation, so I'll do what I can and try not to worry. I've always been a worry wart but lately I'm finding it easier to let go. We always make the best decisions we know how and work hard to make a good life for Brenden. There's no point in worrying about the rest.

Brenden had his first day of school today, and he did great! He was only there for two hours so he didn't get to experience naptime (our biggest worry since we still rock him to sleep), but he didn't cry at all and had a great time exploring his new playroom. We love the daycare we picked and luckily there are only 6 kids in his room right now.

Now it's time to do some resume critiquing!

Don't Count Your Chickens Before They're Hatched

Adam was SO CLOSE to having a really good job, so we thought, but we found out today that he's probably not getting it. It was a big blow. I was feeling so great, like all of the hard work with this move and all of the uncertainty was finally paying off, and we were about to be settled. It was going to be a job Adam would probably actually like, with decent pay and benefits, and a mostly decent schedule. Now we're back to wondering if he's going to end up with a minimum wage job he hates working nights and weekends. We are very fortunate to have some savings left and the support of our family if we get desperate, but more than the money, it's important to me to feel settled. I'm tired of wondering how this or that is going to pan out. There have been a million variables and it's exhausting. Today it felt like the bubble of energy keeping me going through all this just popped.

I also have an earrache, and then I broke our nice candle holder, and then Brenden pooped in the bathtub. He's never done that before and it never even crossed my mind that I would find myself having to clean that out of the tub! If I ever get around to printing these blogs for a scrapbook, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see I posted his bathroom habits on the internet.

Sigh...Brenden just woke up...guess this will be a rough night to match this crappy day...

Feeling More Settled

It's exhausting to think about all of the changes we've been through over the past 5 months. It has been SO MUCH WORK. We're still taking care of things related to the move, but it's starting to taper off. We've made a lot of progress, and I'm excited to be focusing more on decorating our house now. I am so thankful every day I wake up in this house. It is a wonderful first home and even though we still have some finishing touches to do, I'm proud to have people over.

Brenden starts daycare in a little over a week. We took him to his new "school" today to see how he would do in the classroom, and he was a champ. He was nervous and curled up in my lap at first, but in less than 10 minutes he was running around playing with toys. Adam and I sat at the edge of the room and he didn't seem to care if we were there or not! It will take some adjustment, but I think this is happening at the perfect time. He's getting good at feeding himself, he's walking really well, and we honestly need some help getting him to learn how to sleep on his own. I am so excited about the daycare we chose. I feel really comfortable that he will be well cared for.

We still have one big wild card - Adam's job situation (or lack of). He has had some interviews but nothing has panned out so far. The economy seems to be improving a little, but his background is in retail and many stores are only looking for part-time employees. It's hard for him because he's starting to get discouraged and he's facing a big change with going back to work after being home with Brenden so long. It's stressful but for some weird reason I don't have any doubts that it will work out somehow.

And it's hard to be stressed about anything with Brenden. He's so full of joy and enthusiasm that it's contagious. He does the funniest and most adorable things. I find myself cracking up and tearing up all the time when he does something so cute. The other night I sang him a song after his bath, and he started singing very quietly - the first time he's ever done that. He looked so shy about it, but also amazed that he could make those sounds too. I wish our computer wasn't on its last leg - I want to load some videos/pictures on this blog, but our computer would probably start smoking if I tried to load anything on it right now. Hopefully we can afford a new one soon!

Big Boy Brenden

Brenden has grown and developed so much in the past month! Every day is more fun than the last. He's walking (up to 10 steps in a row now!) and communicating a lot more. He has different noises he makes to get our attention, let us know he's annoyed, or tell us he wants us to do something. He has started taking my hand and putting it on a toy he wants me to play with him, and pointing in the direction he wants to go when we're holding him. We're basically his trained monkeys at this point.

He has also started clapping for himself when he does something. He is very proud of himself when he throws his diaper in the trash can or punches the code to close the garage door (Well, we punch in the code and he just pretends to do it with us).

He is also eating finger foods, which has been a source on anxiety for me for months. Some babies start feeding themselves at 6 months, and even at his 12 month visit his doctor warned us that he'd have to see a specialist if he didn't start feeding himself soon. Brenden must have gotten the message (he hates going to the doctor) and he's started feeding himself all sorts of things. He loves strawberries. He also loves soy milk, and we've started the weaning process.

We are getting settled in to life here in the midwest. It's "interesting" to come back after being gone so long. My main complaints about life here are mosquitos, rednecks, and HORRIBLE drivers. People think driving in a big city is bad, but from our experience that's nothing compared to these people who think red lights are optional. Apparently it's an unwritten rule that once the light turns red, three more cars can still turn left. If you try to stop when the light turns red, be prepared to be rear-ended by a pickup truck driven by a guy with a beer gut and two teeth.

Despite the inbreeding, I'm really enjoying life here. The pace is slower and I only feel like I'm running a 5K every day rather than a marathon. I like my job - low stress, nice people, short commute - and it's wonderful to come home to our nice, quiet home. I love eating dinner at the kitchen table with the afternoon sun coming in the windows. I miss a lot of things about Seattle, but I'd be a mess if we had to go back to the way we were living, in that apartment with no family around. Brenden is blossoming with his family and we've been able to get breaks to go to the movies and get things done.

We received excellent news on Friday that our apartment in Seattle was rented to new tenants, so we were finally let out of our lease. It's a long story, but we decided it was best to move when we did even though our lease didn't end until August 31. We were starting to get discouraged and thought we might have to pay the rest of the lease, so that was big news for us!

I am getting ready to take my insurance licensing exam. I've been studying every night, and I can't wait to be done with it. I haven't read a book in two months and I absolutely can't wait to have time to read in the evenings. I'm also looking forward to getting more settled in at home and working out again. I have more time than I did in Seattle, so no more excuses!