The Pyramid Challenge

After eating for two for 2 years, it's been hard for me to adjust to eating less. When I was pregnant and nursing I couldn't get enough to eat. I ate huge portions and still ended up feeling thin and frail. That is no longer a problem. For the past couple months I've been eating those same big portions and feeling really bogged down from the excess calories. And it's starting to show on my waistline too.

I found a great tool to help re-train myself to eat like a normal person. It's called mypyramidtracker.org, a website that tracks what you eat every day against the recommended amounts of fruits, veggies, meats, etc. It's free and it makes more sense to me than the fad diets. So I'm going to make a big effort to eat the right foods and track them for the next month. Along with following the diet recommendations, I'm also going to get 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week and get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. (That's not always up to me but I'll give it my best shot.)

I always thought it would be impossible to eat the recommended fruits/veggies, but I was surprised to find that the recommended portions are so small that a salad at lunch and a side of veggies at dinner takes care of the veggies. This week I bought a bunch of salad fixings at the store and made a big salad for my lunches. It took more effort than buying a sodium-packed frozen meal, but it's worth it. I put dried cherries in it today, so I'm getting in a fruit AND it's delicious.

Springtime

We have been back in the Midwest for exactly one year! When I think back on where we were one year ago, I'm amazed we had the energy and nerve to do it. Moving cross-country with a baby and no jobs was a big leap of faith, but it's worked out really well. Some things have gone better than I anticipated, especially finding a job similar to what I had in Seattle. I was convinced that wouldn't happen. And some things have been harder to adjust to, mainly the culture and financial changes.

Brenden was very serious about his Easter egg hunt

With cousins on Daddy's side


With cousins on Mommy's side

He has Daddy's chin and Mommy's chocolate addiction

First Haircut

I am so glad it's spring, even with the apocalyptic weather we've had the past week. I've never seen such severe thunderstorms that lasted this long. Brenden misses playing outside, but he didn't mind getting woken up at 10 pm to huddle in the basement and watch Pee Wee's Playhouse. "Wee Wee" is one of his favorite shows, along with Sesame Street and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Watching Pee Wee brings back memories of my 80's childhood, which is getting further and further into the past! I'll be 30 in just a couple months. I'm actually looking forward to it. Being 20-something is overrated, in my opinion. I think my 30's will be fun. I've mellowed out but I'm still young enough to enjoy it.

Being a mom is so much more fun every month! Brenden keeps us laughing every day with some new antic. The things he says are just so cute. His speech is pretty clear for his age. He has a few words that he pronounces his own way, which is so funny:

Toe-pac=ketchup

Tapas=pretzels

'da bade=the bed

And speaking of ketchup, if he can dip it, he'll eat it.

His favorite song is "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones. He calls it "Wa Wa." I used to like that song, but now have to hear it at least twice a day.

I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. We're supposed to have 2 days off from the rain, so we're going to get outside and enjoy it. I love working in our yard, and it was hard to stay inside during B's naps last weekend while it poured down rain.

Gotta refuel before unloading all these groceries.

Helping Mommy make Sunday dinner

Ready to go for the gold

Things are good! We are so glad spring is well on its way. Hopefully Adam's recent hospital stay for a severe bout of the stomach flu was winter's last blow to us. It's been a rough one.

Brenden's language development continues to amaze us. He can say just about anything he hears. Of course his favorite form of communication is barking back at the "dogga" across the street.

I've been making a big effort to cut processed foods out of our diet. I've tried to majorly overhaul our diets before, but failed when I tried to go "health nut" overnight. So far I've been making things from scratch that I used to buy pre-made: pizza crust, biscuits, rice, french fries, soups, etc. With a little planning it's not that hard. I hope we eventually eat more organics and a wider variety of vegetables and beans, but for now we're doing what works within our budget and time constraints.

Brenden is closing in on the big 2! Every now and then I feel a little sad to leave the baby stage behind, but usually not so much. I'm having a lot more fun now than I was when I was exhausted out of my mind.

Just Wait a Day...

On Wednesday of this week I was starting to wonder how much longer I could stand the monotony of my job. It was making me crazy trying to think of things to do to keep myself busy. I was starting to get nervous, wondering if I was expendable. I was really stressed about it all Wednesday night. But then I came in Thursday morning, and surprise! I was assigned an additional project, and it sounds like a good one. I've also been worried (or trying not to worry) about being assigned to a job that's really far away, but this one is only 45 minutes away and I only have to travel there once a week. Not bad! Suddenly I'm busy starting up this new project, and I felt great today, rushing around getting things done. I was always slammed at my job in Seattle, and I liked the hustle and bustle.

As for my new new years resolutions, I'm doing pretty well. I was a couple minutes late a couple days this week, but the worst day was 3 minutes. I'm starting to make time to call family, and I've also worked out twice this week. Both times were really tough. I did a Biggest Loser DVD one night and was sore for 2 days afterwards. I checked out some additional workout DVDs from the library today to keep it interesting.

I'm weaning Brenden this week. Tonight was supposed to be our first night without nursing, but he's sick with a cold and I didn't think it was the best night for a big change. We'll make the switch sometime in the next week, so he'll be ready for my trip out of town. I'm heading to Indianapolis for 3 days of training, one of which happens to be on Valentine's Day. I'm not thrilled about it, but it's not the end of the world. And since I have no choice, we'll just deal with it.

My New New Years Resolutions

My original new years resolution was to worry less. Three weeks into the year I'm sticking to that resolution pretty easily. It helps that life is simpler now than it has been in years. Brenden's new ear tubes are a big help too - knowing that he's happy and comfortable makes life a lot smoother for all of us.

I've found a new way to deal with worry that makes a big difference. If I'm worrying about something stupid (and 98% of the time it's stupid), I make time to focus on the problem and identify possible solutions. I like to do this in a sort of "worry journal." I focus on how the problem makes me feel, and a lot of time that helps me realize the worry is causing a lot more grief than is warranted. Trying to identify solutions is the most helpful part of all. If there's nothing I can do, what's the point in worrying? If there is something I can do, I write out the steps to take, then mark them on my calendar. Voila, problem solved. Whether there's a solution or not, after my worry session I realize there's no point in fretting over the problem anymore.

As for money worries (the bulk of my worries), Adam and I have started having a "money meeting" every week. We check to see how well we're sticking to our budget and take care of paying bills. This is a big relief for me. We share the responsibility of managing our money, and I only let myself fret about money during that time. The rest of the week, it doesn't really matter how little money we have!

So I found some new things I'd like to improve in my life. These are things that I had to let go of during Brenden's infant stage. Looking back I'm blown away by how hard life was back then. Every spare second of my day was filled to the brim with demands. Now Brenden is sleeping well and he doesn't need 5 things from me all at the same time while he's awake. So here are the things I want to accomplish:

1. Be to work on time (I am cursed with tardiness. I am always 2-5 minutes late, every day. I cannot explain this phenomenon, but I plan to beat it.)

Plan of Action: Get up 5 minutes earlier, every day, until I start getting to work on time. Knowing that I'll get less sleep the next night if I don't get my butt in gear should help motivate me to move faster.)

2. Keep in better touch with my family.

Plan of Action: To keep time from getting away from me, I will make a note on my calendar to remind me to call my family members who live far away. I know that's a bit Type-A, but that kind of stuff works for me.

3. Exercise

Plan of Action: We just cleaned up our basement and have a nice area with a TV to do workout DVDs. I can do a 20-30 minute workout after B goes to bed and still have plenty of time to read or watch TV. I'm also going to go walking over lunch with a friend on nicer days. In all I'd like to exercise 3 times a week, whether that's an exercise DVD, a walk, or even a fun yoga class.

It's Been a While!

I haven't posted a blog in a while! We've had a lot going on, with the holidays, and most recently with Brenden's surgery to put tubes in his ears. He has suffered through awful ear infections since October, so he desperately needed them. The surgeon told us the fluid in B's ears was some of the thickest he's ever seen. I feel bad thinking of all the pain he's gone through. But now he's all fixed up and he should feel better and hear much better.

He has started talking more and more, and I'm amazed how well he understands us. This morning he didn't want to put his shoes on to go out, so I explained to him that we had to put his shoes on so he could "go with Mommy to the store." He calmed down and put his shoes on right away. Then when we got home, he didn't want to get out of the car until I told him we were going inside to have lunch.

Some of Brenden's first words:
Mama
Dada
uh-oh
no
dogga (doggie)
ki-ki (kitty-kitty)
nana (banana)
hot
cold

It is really fun to be able to communicate with him more. Being a mom gets easier and easier for me. I'm able to do things around the house as we go through our day on the weekends, so I don't have to wait until those precious moments when someone else is watching B or he's asleep. Today I was able to vaccuum with him in the room for the first time. (I used to have to make an elaborate plan to find a time to do it.)

Adam and I still miss some things about Seattle, especially my job. I had a job I LOVED with awesome insurance and a great salary. We went from coasting along just fine financially to dog-paddling desperately until help comes along. (In the form of a raise or better job for Adam.) I really like some things about my current job, but I have to deal with some drama I'm not used to. With my job in Seattle I just threw myself in 100% and did great. But here I have to worry about politics and watch what I say really closely.

Hopefully I will get more comfortable at work. It's stressful at times but it's well worth being close to our families and living in a great house. I love this house so much I would give it a big hug if my arms were long enough. Someone could offer me a bigger house in a better neighborhood, with a dishwasher and an attached garage, and I wouldn't want to move. (though I might try to talk them into just giving me the dishwasher!)

Ok, time to wake B up from his nap. He's been fighting his naps lately and didn't go down until 3:30 today. I will pay for that big time tonight when he refuses to go to bed!

Brenden Pics

What's a boy have to do to get some scrambled eggs around here?

Brenden loves riding around in his doll stroller - we're not sure what we're going to do when the wheels finally fall off

Busted during a love-fest with Momo

Brenden's favorite play room

Story Time

Nap Time on the couch

Brenden Potter

Corn on the cob - he can eat a whole ear in 2 minutes flat

Company BBQ

I beat that kid in the end!

My new company had a company BBQ last Friday night, and we had a fun (and freezing cold!) time. Brenden enjoyed the bouncy house and I made it up the climbing wall. That's something I've always wanted to try. It was harder than I thought - by the time I made it back down my arms were shaking from exertion and nerves (I haven't been with the company long enough to make a fool of myself).

So far things are going really well at my new job. I hear snippits of complaints and politics from other people, which makes me nervous at times, but my experience has been overwhelmingly positive so far. My manager is a very nice man and the team I'm working with is great. I'm taking note of the things I hear for future reference, but I have to remind myself that everyone's experience is different for a multitude of reasons. I heard an earful of bad things when I started at my firm in Seattle, but my experience was better than I even hoped for.

Now that we're settled in some sort of normal and Brenden is sleeping through the night, I'm finding time for myself for the first time in a long time! I didn't realize how drained I was until I started to recover once B was sleep trained. Pregnancy and raising an infant and supporting our family wore me out to my core.

I've just started walking over lunch, and it feels great. I work 2 blocks from the riverfront - it's not Puget Sound but it's still pretty and quaint. Downtown Evansville is surprisingly cute. There are several local restaurants I plan to try, and there's even a little local pharmacy with a cafeteria that reminds me of old pharmacies I used to see as a kid. (back in the day!)

Of course the instant I start gaining my strength back, people start talking about the second child! When i picked B up from daycare yesterday the teacher told me he had been playing with a baby doll and people say that means he wants a little brother or sister. Ha! If we have another child it will be years out. And that's a big "if." I don't think we'll be horrible parents if B is an only child. I admire parents who can handle a bunch of kids, but it's not for me. I need this time I'm finally getting to myself so I can be a good parent to the one I already have!

Superman

Halloween was a blast! It was a perfect sunny fall day. I enjoyed getting lots of yard work done. I discovered cleaning gutters is a lot more fun when you ditch the ladder and just crawl around on the roof.



Brenden had fun trick or treating. He didn't understand why we kept knocking on people's doors but not going in, but he seemed to think it was pretty cool seeing all the kids in costume. When we got home we had several trick or treaters ourselves, which was really fun. We've always lived in an apartment so that was our first experience getting to give out candy. Isn't it crazy that you can go knock on a random stranger's door and they'll give you candy??



Brenden was bouncing off the walls right up to bedtime. After he finally feel asleep we watched a new zombie show called the Walking Dead, which was fun for Halloween.



Overall it was the best Halloween I've had since I was a kid.

Back Already!

Brenden LOVES his Pooh Bear hat

I'm back from my business trip to Indianapolis, and everything went really well. It's funny that I was in tears over it a month ago, because it was not a big deal at all. Brenden had a fun time with his Grammy and Aunt Allie until Adam got off work on Thursday, and they did just fine that night on their own. I anticipated a dramatic reunion, but when I walked in the door last night Brenden only had eyes for the bag of Long John Silvers I was carrying.

I enjoyed the trip to Indy. It was really helpful for me in my new job, and it was nice to get away briefly. I took myself out for a nice steak dinner, then took a steaming hot bath in my nice hotel room. After that I ate a piece of chocolate cake a la mode in bed while watching HGTV. The quiet was nice just for one night, but I was really ready to get home yesterday.

It is really good to know that it's ok if I have to be away. I read a good article in Oprah magazine right before I left. It was an interview with Julie Bowen from the TV show Modern Family. On the show she plays a stay at home mom who keeps a perfect house, but the article was about the reality of having to travel and be less than a perfect mom to her 3 boys. She talked about the importance of making time for yourself and focusing on being a good mom instead of a great one.

If someone asked me if I thought I was a good mom I would say yes without hesitation. But a great one? Hmmm... Some nights we have chicken nuggets and fries for dinner, and I can't seem to keep up with the mess of toys that get strewn all over the house. I also have to admit that I've let Brenden walk around the yard without shoes on, and I'll turn on cartoons to keep him company while I do dishes. GASP!!! And here's the kicker - even though I really should do some cleaning and yard work and unpacking while Brenden's taking his nap, I've just written a blog and now I'm going to lie down on the couch and take a nap. Hopefully child welfare services won't knock on the door and wake me up.

Brenden and Ian doing their homework

Not to worry, Brenden is just pretending in that picture. He is NOT one of those poor babies forced to watch those Your Baby Can Read videos all day. Those commercials are creepy, if you ask me. Driving your kids too hard starts really early these days.

Things are going well. I have been at my new job for 2 1/2 weeks. I'm still figuring things out but so far I like it. I have my own nice office and the commute is so short I can come home for lunch. One thing that's a bit rough is working at the jobsite. I stay in the construction trailer doing paperwork, but I was shocked to discover there's no bathroom! We have to use a porta potty used by mostly men. Yes, it's just as disgusting as you might imagine. After my first day at the site I learned that my morning cup of coffee is not worth it. I only have to go to the jobsite one or two mornings a week, so it's not too bad. It's over an hour away, and at first I was bummed about the drive, but now I like it. A whole hour to myself!

Adam's schedule at his new job is a bit difficult. He works a lot of evenings and weekends, and I have a hard time managing dinner and dishes and bathtime on my own. Brenden is usually really fussy in the evenings. He wants to be held the whole time, which is impossible of course. He's had several major meltdowns complete with ear-splitting screams and theatrical beating of his head against the floor.

But weekends are great. It's still hard but Brenden is in a much better mood when we spend the whole day together. Last weekend he napped an hour in his crib and an hour on the couch with me. It was so nice to just lie down and watch a movie and fall asleep!

Overall I feel more settled than I have in a year. It was about this time last year that I started feeling like Seattle wasn't working for us, and since then we've been through a lot of upheaval. I cannot believe how much work this move has been. Planning, packing, moving, job hunting, buying a house, buying a car, finding a daycare, and a mountain of other things to be taken care of. Now that Brenden has been sleeping well for about a month, I have FINALLY caught up and don't feel like I'm drowning. Now we get to think about fun stuff like decorating the house. We have a huge finished basement that we hardly use, so in the next couple of weeks we're going to set up a den/play area for Brenden during the winter months.

We have some other minor things to update. Thank goodness this house is in awesome shape because we're hopeless when it comes to home maintenance. Our ice maker just stopped working and I have no idea how to fix it. I guess I'll start by googling it...

God Bless the Midwest

One thing I won't miss about my current job is having to be professional and polite to customers who don't deserve it. To be honest, everyone has preconceived notions about other people based on how they look. You might not expect good manners from a kid who wears his pants down around his knees, and I'll admit I tend to assume that disheveled women I see with 8 kids piled in a rusted out car are uneducated and have some issues.

In the four months I've been at my job I've had AT LEAST four white people explain someone else's behavior by leaning over and whispering, "I'm not racist, but s/he was black." Right. One man I was talking with on the phone was very nonchalant about rear-ending a woman when she was stopped at a stoplight because, in his words, "she was black." But hey, at least that guy didn't follow-up with the comment with the "I'm not racist" part.

I heard on the radio today about a preacher in Kansas who leads protests at soldiers' funerals here in the US. He believes that those soldiers' deaths are God's punishment for the US tolerating homosexuality. WHAT??? Am I hearing all of this right???

Adam had his first day of work today, which seemed to go well. It was very strange for him to go back to work after over a year of being home with Brenden. It was hard for Brenden to be at daycare all day today. He was really excited to see me when I picked him up, but then he had several meltdowns when we got home. Adam didn't get home until an hour later, so I had my hands full trying to soothe Brenden and get dinner ready at the same time.

Brenden's sleep training has been an amazing transformation. He actually got annoyed with me tonight because I tried to rub his back after I laid him down. He grunted and moved my hand away, then whined until I left the room! Our next challenge to tackle is weaning. Yes, I still nurse my 16 month old. We're down to 2 feedings a day but I want to wean him by the time I go out of town for work. I thought about just skipping those nights and nursing again when I get back, but that will just make it harder on Adam. Better to tackle the weaning together.

I found out the travel in October will be no more than 2 nights away from home. I was in tears over it Friday night and could hardly sleep, but now I'm much more calm about it. I'm hopeful this job will be a good thing for our family. I debated whether I should try to keep my current job so I will never be away from Brenden, but realized that was selfish. He'll do great with all his family around to help while I'm away, and realistically we need this new salary. By Sunday I was feeling better and decided to stop being emotional about it. That will only make it harder for everyone, and if I'm calm about it hopefully Brenden will be too. And hey, I've fantasized about checking myself into a hotel by myself since Brenden was born - here's my chance!

Now I'm Nervous!

Brenden sporting Daddy's new work shoes

It's been a wild week preparing for our new jobs. We bought a new (used) car, which was a trying experience. We were in a big hurry and I'm not completely sold on the car we picked. Doesn't really matter because it's ours for the next 6 years regardless!

Adam starts his new job on Monday, and it looks like he'll be working most weekends and a few evenings each week until 9. On one hand it's nice that Brenden can have some short days at daycare and even some days off during the week, but it will also be a little bit chaotic having a changing schedule. It will be a challenge for me to get dinner on the table and wash dishes by myself, but I'm going to plan ahead and prepare what I can the night before after Brenden goes to bed.

My new job starts the Monday after next. I was so crushed when I first didn't get the job, and I dreaded having to stay at my current job where I have to do some telemarketing and there's not much challenge to it. But now that I'm getting nervous about the new job, I'm thinking about the things I'll miss about my current one: I always work the same hours with no overtime, and it's not stressful. I also feel comfortable there, and now I'm facing yet another change. It seems like this new company has a lot of crazy deadlines and I'll have to travel a little.

The travel part makes me sick to my stomach. It really didn't sound like there would be too much travel when I interviewed, but they're already planning a trip for the end of October. I feel like I did when I first went back to work after Brenden was born, imagining having to go a whole day without seeing him. And it sounds like it might be more than one day. I know lots of people travel or work multiple jobs or any number of things that keep them from their kids, and I don't know how they stand it.

What a difference a few days make...

Check out that bed-head!

Brenden's beloved doll stroller - he takes it with him all over the house

I am in shock. We have had the best luck over the past three days. Adam got a full-time job he's really excited about for an electronics store here in town, Brenden's ears are all better, and I just accepted a new job as well! I interviewed for the job several weeks ago and was crushed when I didn't get it. But apparently the person they hired didn't work out, so now I get a stab at it! It comes with a big pay raise and good benefits. Plus Adam will be eligible for benefits at his job too, so we'll have our pick - too funny after months of no good choices. The job sounds great - I got a really good impression of the company when I interviewed with them, and it's only 7 minutes from our house and 3 minutes from B's daycare.

And here's the icing on the cake. We have debated about sleep training since Brenden was two months old. We've always decided against it because he was too young or teething or we were going through some transition or another. We anticipated sleepless nights full of screaming and theatrics, but we bit the bullet and laid Brenden down awake in his crib tonight for the first time ever. He freaked at first, grabbing at me desperately until I finally just left the room. I checked on him twice and he calmed down and fell asleep after only 15 minutes! I can hardly believe it. I'm not totally convinced we're in the clear, but this is a good sign that better sleep is in the near future.

Brenden painting a picture at school

It's been a while since I posted a blog, mostly because we've been very busy coping with Brenden's ear infection. He's had it for nearly a month. We're on our third round of antibiotics and we've tried just about everything to clear up the fluid. He's getting better and seems to be in a lot less pain, but he's now in the habit of being held/rocked all night. So we are finally, after 15 months of debating the sleep situation, going to start sleep training. Once the dr gives us the all-clear that he's no longer sick, we'll start putting him to bed awake. The dr warned us that rocking to sleep will be a hard habit to break after this long, but we pretty much have to at this point. We are EXHAUSTED from being up all night with him. Adam and I are both tempted to take an ax to the rocking chair because we're so sick of being in it.

Adam still hasn't found a job. He's been forced to lower his standards quite a bit, and has two interviews coming up for jobs he's not excited about. He might even end up working part-time for now just to have something. It's hard to be facing down money struggles after being pretty comfortable in Seattle. The worst part is having high-deductible health insurance, which is all we can afford but would pretty much bankrupt us if we had to ever use. Until we get on our feet, we applied for a state program to help with Brenden's medical costs. Brenden's dr warned us that he might have to have tubes in his ears soon, which requires general anestethia and is very expensive without insurance.

This might not be what we had in mind for ourselves, but we're making it work. Life in the midwest is a lot less expensive, and we're finding other ways to cut costs. We shop at a great grocery store that only sells their own generic brands. The food is really good, often better than name brands, and so much cheaper. We're also benefitting from hand-me-downs for Brenden, dinners over at our family's houses, and shopping yard sales, which practically a sport in the midwest. I spent $18 at a rummage sale today and came home with a trunk full of stuff for Brenden:

-7 long-sleeve shirts for fall

-jacket

-snowsuit (can't wait to use that!)

-big riding toy shaped like a car with a handle we can push

-Elmo doll that laughs, talks, does flips

-doll stroller (totally girly but B fell in love with it)

It's starting to feel like fall here, which we're really excited about. Spending summer with family has been great, but I bet fall/winter will be even better with the holidays and family meals (to be followed up by a new exercise regimen in January!).

So even though things have been rough, we're sticking it out and looking on the bright side of things. Eventually we'll get to where we're financially secure again, but in the meantime we have the things you can't put a pricetag on, like a home that truly feels like home (ok, that does have a price tag), a joyful little boy, and our families.

Geez, Negative Nancy!

I'm feeling much better now. I realize that I have very little control over the job situation, so I'll do what I can and try not to worry. I've always been a worry wart but lately I'm finding it easier to let go. We always make the best decisions we know how and work hard to make a good life for Brenden. There's no point in worrying about the rest.

Brenden had his first day of school today, and he did great! He was only there for two hours so he didn't get to experience naptime (our biggest worry since we still rock him to sleep), but he didn't cry at all and had a great time exploring his new playroom. We love the daycare we picked and luckily there are only 6 kids in his room right now.

Now it's time to do some resume critiquing!

Don't Count Your Chickens Before They're Hatched

Adam was SO CLOSE to having a really good job, so we thought, but we found out today that he's probably not getting it. It was a big blow. I was feeling so great, like all of the hard work with this move and all of the uncertainty was finally paying off, and we were about to be settled. It was going to be a job Adam would probably actually like, with decent pay and benefits, and a mostly decent schedule. Now we're back to wondering if he's going to end up with a minimum wage job he hates working nights and weekends. We are very fortunate to have some savings left and the support of our family if we get desperate, but more than the money, it's important to me to feel settled. I'm tired of wondering how this or that is going to pan out. There have been a million variables and it's exhausting. Today it felt like the bubble of energy keeping me going through all this just popped.

I also have an earrache, and then I broke our nice candle holder, and then Brenden pooped in the bathtub. He's never done that before and it never even crossed my mind that I would find myself having to clean that out of the tub! If I ever get around to printing these blogs for a scrapbook, I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see I posted his bathroom habits on the internet.

Sigh...Brenden just woke up...guess this will be a rough night to match this crappy day...

Feeling More Settled

It's exhausting to think about all of the changes we've been through over the past 5 months. It has been SO MUCH WORK. We're still taking care of things related to the move, but it's starting to taper off. We've made a lot of progress, and I'm excited to be focusing more on decorating our house now. I am so thankful every day I wake up in this house. It is a wonderful first home and even though we still have some finishing touches to do, I'm proud to have people over.

Brenden starts daycare in a little over a week. We took him to his new "school" today to see how he would do in the classroom, and he was a champ. He was nervous and curled up in my lap at first, but in less than 10 minutes he was running around playing with toys. Adam and I sat at the edge of the room and he didn't seem to care if we were there or not! It will take some adjustment, but I think this is happening at the perfect time. He's getting good at feeding himself, he's walking really well, and we honestly need some help getting him to learn how to sleep on his own. I am so excited about the daycare we chose. I feel really comfortable that he will be well cared for.

We still have one big wild card - Adam's job situation (or lack of). He has had some interviews but nothing has panned out so far. The economy seems to be improving a little, but his background is in retail and many stores are only looking for part-time employees. It's hard for him because he's starting to get discouraged and he's facing a big change with going back to work after being home with Brenden so long. It's stressful but for some weird reason I don't have any doubts that it will work out somehow.

And it's hard to be stressed about anything with Brenden. He's so full of joy and enthusiasm that it's contagious. He does the funniest and most adorable things. I find myself cracking up and tearing up all the time when he does something so cute. The other night I sang him a song after his bath, and he started singing very quietly - the first time he's ever done that. He looked so shy about it, but also amazed that he could make those sounds too. I wish our computer wasn't on its last leg - I want to load some videos/pictures on this blog, but our computer would probably start smoking if I tried to load anything on it right now. Hopefully we can afford a new one soon!

Big Boy Brenden

Brenden has grown and developed so much in the past month! Every day is more fun than the last. He's walking (up to 10 steps in a row now!) and communicating a lot more. He has different noises he makes to get our attention, let us know he's annoyed, or tell us he wants us to do something. He has started taking my hand and putting it on a toy he wants me to play with him, and pointing in the direction he wants to go when we're holding him. We're basically his trained monkeys at this point.

He has also started clapping for himself when he does something. He is very proud of himself when he throws his diaper in the trash can or punches the code to close the garage door (Well, we punch in the code and he just pretends to do it with us).

He is also eating finger foods, which has been a source on anxiety for me for months. Some babies start feeding themselves at 6 months, and even at his 12 month visit his doctor warned us that he'd have to see a specialist if he didn't start feeding himself soon. Brenden must have gotten the message (he hates going to the doctor) and he's started feeding himself all sorts of things. He loves strawberries. He also loves soy milk, and we've started the weaning process.

We are getting settled in to life here in the midwest. It's "interesting" to come back after being gone so long. My main complaints about life here are mosquitos, rednecks, and HORRIBLE drivers. People think driving in a big city is bad, but from our experience that's nothing compared to these people who think red lights are optional. Apparently it's an unwritten rule that once the light turns red, three more cars can still turn left. If you try to stop when the light turns red, be prepared to be rear-ended by a pickup truck driven by a guy with a beer gut and two teeth.

Despite the inbreeding, I'm really enjoying life here. The pace is slower and I only feel like I'm running a 5K every day rather than a marathon. I like my job - low stress, nice people, short commute - and it's wonderful to come home to our nice, quiet home. I love eating dinner at the kitchen table with the afternoon sun coming in the windows. I miss a lot of things about Seattle, but I'd be a mess if we had to go back to the way we were living, in that apartment with no family around. Brenden is blossoming with his family and we've been able to get breaks to go to the movies and get things done.

We received excellent news on Friday that our apartment in Seattle was rented to new tenants, so we were finally let out of our lease. It's a long story, but we decided it was best to move when we did even though our lease didn't end until August 31. We were starting to get discouraged and thought we might have to pay the rest of the lease, so that was big news for us!

I am getting ready to take my insurance licensing exam. I've been studying every night, and I can't wait to be done with it. I haven't read a book in two months and I absolutely can't wait to have time to read in the evenings. I'm also looking forward to getting more settled in at home and working out again. I have more time than I did in Seattle, so no more excuses!